


The bad twin

by straight_as_ramen (orphan_account)



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chaotic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Siblings, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is Extra, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Angst, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Angst, Don't copy to another site, Food, Gen, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Kid Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Kid Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Kid Sides, M/M, No Incest, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, Sympathetic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Sympathetic Logic | Logan Sanders, Triggers, Twins, Unsympathetic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Unsympathetic Morality | Patton Sanders, heh it gets quite dark though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:21:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22865506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/straight_as_ramen
Summary: Roman was the good twin, loved by the light sides, whereas Remus was the bad twin, banished by them. It didn't matter if he tried to be quieter, or if he tried to be what they wanted him to be. He'd just have to accept his part as the rotten side of something whole.
Comments: 76
Kudos: 145





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a rewrite of Shards, because I feel like I need to do a lot better with it :P  
> Feel free to point out any mistakes or give any suggestions, I appreciate constructive criticism.

Thomas’s head was dominated by three main sides. 

There was Logic, who was the source of, well, Logic. He was in charge of Thomas’s learning, his routine, and how he retained information. He contributed to Thomas’s thinking where he felt it was appropriate, providing helpful input to situations. He bought authority to the other sides by making sure they were adding their opinions wherever needed. He acted similar to a teacher, providing information for the other sides whenever they requested it, *cough* even though they asked some ridiculously absurd questions sometimes *cough*. 

Another side was Morality. He was the one to go to if you wanted to know if something was right or wrong. He loved helping Thomas through what he should and shouldn’t do, such as whether to ask for a cookie or just take one (to be fair, cookies were his weak point, but still). Morality was the parent-like figure of the group; always making sure his fellow sides were taking care of themselves, were listened to, and generally felt alright (Logic claimed he didn’t feel anything, but Morality doubted that). He was the side to come up with the idea that everyone needed names, and thus chose to name himself Patton. He was the host of Thomas’s feelings, and tried his best to keep them on the positive side, a decision that Logic claimed would lead to disaster. 

The third main side (and most important, in his opinion) was Creativity. He was the leader of all of Thomas’s hopes, dreams and aspirations. Any time Thomas was daydreaming in class instead of focusing on the work, Creativity was to blame (in his defence, Thomas knew how to read and count, what else did he need?). He was the culprit if Thomas got a little excited when painting and ended up decorating himself, or when he tried to cook a new recipe that he’d come up with in his head and ended up almost setting the kitchen on fire. 

Of course, there were other sides too, although they offered a lot less input to Thomas (Patton interrupted them whenever they did). They’d caught a glimpse of a dark-clothed side whom Logic referred to as Anxiety when Thomas had fallen and scraped his elbow, and when Thomas had accidentally smashed a vase during one of Creativity’s outbursts, a mysterious, half-snake side had popped up and made Thomas blame the incident on his brother. The side had never revealed his name or function, simply slipping away as soon as Thomas had lied. Creativity hardly remembered the event, other than there was a guy with scales on his face and he looked kinda cool and spooky, but Logic and Patton did. 

These were only some of the examples, there were multiple sides that the others had no idea about, though they were sure they’d find them soon enough. Thomas couldn’t always have a perfect balance between learning, ideas and feelings without any interruptions after all. He wouldn’t be 7 forever, but he’d may as well enjoy it for now, right?

* * *

Patton had a regular habit of baking for the other two, and that was what he was doing now. He stood at the counter, stirring away at a bowl of cookie dough (Thomas only knew how to bake a certain kind of cookies so far, but Patton had already perfected them) and humming as he did so. Sitting on the counter beside him was Creativity, who paused his singing every now and then to read off an instruction or point out something important to Patton. Sitting at the table behind them was Logic, who was guiding Thomas through his homework with a steady patience that only he could manage.   
“I think that’s everything then.” Patton decided, poking the dough carefully with the end of the spoon. “It feels normal. Creativity, could you get the cookie cutters?” the side in question hopped off of the counter, discarding the recipe book as he hurried to fulfil Patton’s request. Maybe they could make star-shaped cookies, or hearts, or…  
“Hey, Morality?” Logic called from his spot at the table, picking up his Rubik’s cube as he finished Thomas’s homework. Patton turned around, his smile not faltering.   
“My name is Patton now, remember?” This prompted an eye roll from Logic.   
“Why do we need names?” he complained. “It doesn’t make sense. We can easily tell each other apart from our appearances, and our functions have worked just fine as names for the past 7 years.”   
“Because it makes things much nicer!” Patton reminded him. “Have you come up with a name yet?” Logic shook his head defiantly, making Patton sigh.   
“What about you, Creativity?” he questioned, ruffling the hair of the shorter side, who was busy sorting through the cookie cutters he’d selected.   
“I dunno.” Creativity shrugged, not looking up from his organising. “I’m kinda stuck between two names.”   
“You can’t have two names.” Logic stated simply.   
“I know.”   
“Maybe we can help. Which names are you stuck between?” Patton offered, reaching over to grab a star shaped cookie cutter. Creativity frowned.   
“Roman.” Creativity poked at the cookie dough. “Or Remus.”   
“I prefer Roman.” Patton decided after a moment of thinking. “Remus kinda sounds like a villain's name.”   
“I’m not sure.” Creativity muttered. The name Roman felt… half right, as though he half wanted to be called Roman. The other half wanted to be Remus. It was confusing.   
“Well kiddo, there’s no rush, I’m sure you’ll find the perfect name soon. For now, let's get these cookies done, shall we?” Patton carefully diverted the creative side’s attention back to the cookies, a simple yet effective tactic that he used whenever Creativity was struggling to decide something. The two cut various shapes of cookies, landing with a tray of heart, star, leaf shaped cookies. Patton slid the tray of cookies into the oven with skilled ease, and turned to face the other two sides. Logic was scrambling and solving his Rubik’s cube and Creativity was now busy scribbling something into a sketchbook.   
“You know, maybe your names should be something similar to your functions. That would make them easier to remember!” Patton suggested. Logic set down his cube.   
“Logic…” he started, scanning his brain for names. “...Logan?” Patton grinned at him, and Creativity watched, not saying anything.   
“I like the name Logan.” Logic- Logan decided with a small smile.  
“That’s great!” Patton encouraged.   
“My name is Logan, and I’m in charge of Thomas’s Logical thinking.” Logan announced. Patton clapped excitedly.   
“I like it, Logan. Suits you.” Creativity complimented. Patton turned to him.  
“Hmm, what names sound like Creativity?” he thought.   
“Cleo?” Creativity shook his head. “Callum? Casper?” Patton listed off names beginning with C, and Creativity shook his head each time.   
“It has to be Remus or Roman.” he decided. “I’m stuck between two names, don’t give me any more to consider.”  
“What’s making it so difficult to decide?” Logan quizzed. Creativity shrugged.   
“Part of me wants to be Roman, and the other part wants to be Remus.” he started. “Roman sounds strong, like a knight. And Remus sounds…”   
“I still say you should go with Roman.” Patton spoke with a nod. “It sounds nicer.”   
“I’ll think about it more.” Creativity decided. Patton was trying to get him to decide on Roman, and whereas half of him agreed, the other half despised the name. He turned around to get a glass of water, putting a silent end to the conversation. Patton checked the cookies.   
“They’re almost finished,” he declared. “What shall we use for toppings? I’m going to put these-'' he picked up a little container of heart-shaped sprinkles, holding them up for the others to see. “On the heart cookies.”   
“Can we put leaves on the leaf cookies?!” Creativity proposed with a sudden spike of excited energy. Logan and Patton frowned.   
“Leaves? Like… actual leaves?” Patton queried, raising an eyebrow.   
“Yeah! Wait, no…” Creativity stopped, looking at the floor. What had he just said? “Sorry I don’t know why i said that-”  
“You do remember that leaves are inedible, correct?” Logan looked confused from his spot at the table. Creativity nodded.   
“I remember. Just one of those weird thoughts again.” These outburst of strange thoughts were the usual for him, He’d often feel as though his mind was split into two different sections, one good and one bad, and it was easy for him to blurt out an idea that came from the bad side. He hadn’t really seen it as much of an issue before, but maybe now he ought to mention it. Logan would likely have an explanation, he always did. Then things could go back to normal, right? 

“Creativity?” Patton was standing in front of him, waving a hand in front of his face. He blinked slowly, coming back to his surroundings.   
“I’m here,” he declared.   
“What did you mean by ‘one of those weird thoughts’?” Uh oh. Patton’s moral instincts were taking over again.   
“Nothing bad.” he reassured.   
“Hey.” Patton put a gentle hand on his shoulder, a kind smile on his face. “I'm not mad, just curious. We might be able to help.”   
“OK,.” He started. How was he meant to explain this? “I have… bad thoughts. At least, I think they’re bad.” By Patton’s standards, they would be bad. Creativity didn’t mind them all that much.   
“What kind of thoughts?” Patton was frowning slightly.   
“Just things like that. Putting leaves on the cookies, uh…” he tried to think of examples. “Like sometimes when Thomas is using boiling water, I think about what would happen if someone put their hand into it.” Patton flinched.   
“That would hurt Thomas,” he declared. “You don’t want to hurt Thomas, do you?”   
“I don’t!” Creativity insisted. No part of him wanted to hurt Thomas! One of them was just a little curious about things, that’s all.   
“Creativity.” Patton turned to him, putting both hands on his shoulders, and looked him in the eyes. “You have to stop those thoughts. It’s bad for Thomas. You want to do the right thing, don’t you? Say it.”   
“Patton, no, don’t-” Logan started, standing up. Creativity felt confused.   
“I don’t want to hurt Thomas.” His head began to hurt.   
“Roman, you are not bad. You are not a villain. You can’t let yourself become one.” Patton’s tone of voice made creativity - or Roman, as Patton had chosen - too afraid to disagree.   
“Patton-” Logan tried to speak again, but was interrupted by the smell of burning. Patton turned to the oven, where the cookies were charred beyond saving, and moved from his spot in front of Roman to race to the oven, where he removed the tray of burning cookies. Logan coughed, opening the window, and Patton threw out the cookies miserably. Roman - he still wasn’t sure that was the right name - stood by the wall, gritting his teeth as the smoke made his already growing headache get worse.   
“These cookies can’t be saved.” Patton complained defeatedly. He rarely burnt cookies now. Roman felt a spark of defiance rise within him, from that ‘bad’ side that ‘hurt’ Thomas.   
“Maybe putting leaves on them would help after all.” He said with a smirk, looking at Patton. Then he stopped, putting a hand over his mouth as he realised what he’d said. This action seemed to make his head throb even more.   
“Roman!” Patton scolded in a panicked shout. “I meant what I said!”   
“I’m sorry.” Roman didn’t feel the need to apologise, but it would shut Patton up and his headache was getting even worse. He slid down against the wall, holding his head in his hands, which got the other two’s attention.   
“Creativity?” Logan walked over. Roman looked up dizzily, and Logan gasped slightly upon seeing his face. What was happening? Logan glared at Patton, who tried his best to look innocent. “I warned you! This isn’t a good idea, now look what you’ve done-”   
“He can’t have those thoughts, Logan! It’s bad for Thomas!” The two began to shout at each other and Roman groaned, reaching his arms up to cover his head in a protective stance. Logan’s words seemed to soothe his headache, but Patton’s words felt like hot knives digging into his skull. What was happening?  
“Roman?” Patton stopped shouting, noticing the clearly distressed creative side.   
“My head hurts.” he groaned quietly. “I don’t feel good.”   
“You’re just tired. You need to sleep.” Patton dismissed. His words _hurt_.   
“Stop it!” Roman shouted, glaring up at Patton, who backed away nervously. Part of Roman felt guilty, and the rest wanted to scream at Patton until his throat burned. He was the cause of this.   
“Here.” Logan stepped forward, speaking in a low turn. “Drink some water.” He held out a small glass to the creative side, who accepted it and took a sip.   
“You’ll be alright soon.” Logan reassured him, struggling with his words. This was usually Patton’s department, but he was obviously not the right choice. 

Logan knew exactly what was happening, and he was afraid. 

“I’m gonna sleep.” Roman muttered, his words a little slurred. He stood up, waiting a moment for the world to stop spinning, and left without another word. 

Making his way down the corridor to his room was a difficult task, and when he finally reached it, it was all he could do not to collapse on the bed and cry. His head was burning, he didn’t know what was happening but he hated it. Nonetheless he made himself stand, making his way to the bathroom sink, where he filled another glass with water. He took a sip and looked up towards the mirror, expecting to see his normal self, if a little flushed.

But staring back at him was a side, exactly like him, with one eye a deep green color, and the other a vibrant shade of red. 

What?

Roman shook his head, setting the glass of water down and walking back to his room. He was just imagining things, he needed to sleep. He shut off his light and fell face-first onto his bed, falling into a deep sleep only seconds later. Hopefully, when he woke up, things would be back to normal… 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Creativity wakes up, and they're confused. Logan is mad at Patton, and Patton is just trying to make sure things are ok.

The room felt cloudy, as though someone had left a fog machine on for a few weeks. Roman sat up, surprised when his head spun a fraction of the amount it had the previous night. The pain was still there, but only a little, as though he hadn’t slept enough. Yeah, that was a good idea. Maybe he should sleep for now. He laid his head down again, ready to go back to sleep again. His head felt as if it was in two places at once, which seemed weird even for him, but he ignored it in favour of getting a few more minutes of rest. 

That’s when there was a soft knock, and the door slowly began to creak open. Roman sat up - yes, that feeling stuck with him, almost as though he was somewhere else at the same time - and looked over to the doorway, where Patton was standing. He stood still at the doorway for quite a long time, eyeing Roman and the spot beside him as though they were a difficult puzzle he was trying to figure out. Then he frowned, and Roman flinched, bringing his arms up above his head.   
“OK, which one of you is Roman and which one is Remus? You both look the same.” Patton questioned, frowning as he continued to look between the two spots.   
“What?” Roman managed to whisper, his throat oddly scratchy for some reason. He was certain he could hear his voice echoing, and Patton was looking at the spot beside him… With much difficulty, Roman turned his head to the left, his neck feeling stiff as though he hadn’t moved it for years. Sitting beside him, in an identical position, was an exact copy of him. The two stared at each other for a long time, partly because they couldn’t move and partly because he was so confused. The copy had green - no wait, red eyes… Were they green or were they red? He was sure he saw both… His breath caught in his throat suddenly, as though something was choking him, but he couldn’t see anything around either of their throats. He couldn’t breathe. They couldn’t breathe.

“Logan!” Patton called out, rushing to help the two. Logan appeared a second later, surprisingly more calm than Patton. Logan was always the calm one… how did they know that?   
“OK, I’m going to refer to you both as Creativity to make things easier.” Logan started.   
“There’s only one of me. I don’t know who he is.” Again Roman’s voice had an echo, almost as if the copy was speaking at the same time as him. His breathing quickened again.   
“I need you to try to breathe when I count, OK?” Logan began to count out, four seconds, then seven, then eight, in a steady voice. Roman followed the counts, and eventually his breaths felt normal again, although his heart was still beating too quickly.   
“Patton, could you fetch a small amount of food and some water for them both?” Logan asked in the same, stable tone of voice. Patton turned and quickly left.   
“Both?” Roman and his echo spoke in a nervous voice.   
“Creativity, you have been split into two different sides.” Logan began. Instantly the two began to panic again, unable to process this new information. “It’s nothing bad, I assure you. I… I don’t know why this has happened, but I promise you, everything is safe. You do not need to panic.” Logan’s words seemed to soothe the two, and they shut their eyes, focusing on making their breathing steady the way Logan had instructed.

Creativity opened his eyes, turning his head to the copy of him. The other Creativity did the same.   
“Who are you?” one spoke as he looked at his twin. He expected the twin to mirror his words like before, but his mouth stayed shut and his green eyes blinked back at him.   
“Who am I?” the green side finally spoke.   
“You’re both Creativity.” Logan offered. Hearing his words, both sides turned their heads to face him, whispering the same word.   
“Logan.” Logan would be lying if he said this wasn’t a little unnerving, but that wasn’t the important matter at hand. Luckily, before he had to think of something to say, Patton gently opened the door, setting down a tray of food on the table.   
“How are they?” he asked Logan in a hushed voice.   
“Improving. This will take time.” Logan responded in the same quiet tone. Then he raised his voice slightly. “Do you two think you can sit on the bed?”   
“I don’t think I can stand up.” Both Creativity’s spoke simultaneously. Carefully, Patton bent down and put an arm around the Green Creativity, lifting him up and setting him down on the bed. Logan did the same with the Red Creativity.  
“Logan?” Green murmured quietly.   
“Yes?” Logan responded.   
“I’m scared.” Both Creativity’s spoke at the same time. Patton turned around from the plates of food he was adjusting.   
“I know you’re scared, kiddos, but everything is gonna be fine, I promise.” he reassured. The two looked doubtful, as did Logan, so Patton diverted the group’s attention to the food he bought. He raised a small piece of toast towards the Green Creativity, who gratefully took a bite into it. Logan did the same with Red Creativity, who seemed grateful for the distraction. 

Patton ignored the accusing look that Logan shot his way every so often. He’d done the right thing. It was to help Thomas, right? That was the priority here… 

The twins seemed to get stronger after eating some food. Logan suspected it was something to do with how the split had gotten rid of everything in their stomachs from the night before, but he wasn’t certain. Indeed, he was the side with the most knowledge, and he had a vague idea of what was going on and why, but he was metaphorically shooting in the dark in this situation. He just hoped he was making the right decisions…

“I think my name is Roman.” the red Creativity spoke, interrupting Logan’s thoughts. The group glanced over to Roman, who was nodding. “Yeah. My name is Roman.”   
“My name was Roman yesterday.” Green mused, a disorientated look on his face. “But I don’t like it. You can have it.” He nodded at Roman, who smiled gratefully.   
“What was the other name you were considering yesterday?” Logan questioned.   
“Remus.” the twins spoke simultaneously. Patton frowned but kept quiet as green pondered for a few moments.   
“My name is Remus.” he decided after a moment. Then he looked to Patton hesitantly. “I know you didn’t like it last night but I really like it and-” his words became jumbled.   
“Easy, kiddo.” Patton interrupted, his usual smile on his face. “I’m not going to call you a name you don’t like. If you say it’s your name, then it’s your name.” Remus smiled a little at that.   
“How are you two feeling?” Logan checked.   
“Strange. A bit confused, my head feels weird.” Roman stated.   
“Weirder than last night.” Remus confirmed.   
“Well that is understandable. Considering that last night your brain was whole, and now the information inside has been duplicated and split between two different-” Logan began to present the facts that he knew, but was interrupted by Roman.   
“Wait, I only have one half of my brain?!” Roman shrieked.   
“I wonder what half a brain looks like… Maybe we should check…” Remus whispered quietly, deep in thought. Roman turned to him, bewildered.   
“You want to do what?”   
“Nevermind.”   
“If you don’t mind, I was not finished with my explanation.” Logan interrupted. The two looked at him simultaneously as he continued. “Each of you now represent different variations of Creativity, Roman being the side that represents Thomas’s positive Creativity, and Remus being-”   
“Okay, well, enough explaining now!” Patton quickly interrupted, gaining a frustrated look from Logan. Patton picked up the now empty tray and took it down to the kitchen, Logan following.   
“Patton?” Logan addressed. The father-like side turned around, already knowing what Logan was going to say. “You are aware of what has caused Creativity to split into two, correct?”   
“Yeah.” Patton responded. “But-”   
“Good. I was just making sure that you were aware.” Logan’s words were cold and accusing. Patton breathed a long sigh.   
“Look, Lo, you and I both know that Creativity needed to change. Now we’ve got our change and Thomas will be alright!” Patton turned quickly, putting a silent end to the conversation. 

Meanwhile,Roman and Remus sat on the bed, in silence. Roman was perfectly content, whereas Remus was less so.   
“Don’t be scared.” Roman soothed. “I think everything will be fine.” he jumped off the bed, forgetting his lack of strength for a moment and having to pause to wait for the room to stop spinning, before he turned to the wardrobe and reached behind it, pulling out a large, wooden sword. “See, I’m a prince, and princes know everything. And I now there’s nothing to worry about.`` This made Remus smile.  
“If you’re a prince, what am I?” he asked. Roman stopped for a moment, thinking.   
“Well, you can be a prince too, if you want…” Roman spoke hesitantly. Remus shook his head.   
“Nah,I want to be something different. Like… A duke?”   
“Sure!” 

Just as Logan and Patton re-entered the room, Remus dived off the bed, landing next to Roman. The sudden movement made him a little dizzy and he stumbled forwards.   
“Hey, be careful now! You don’t want to hurt yourself.” Patton warned. Remus took no notice, charging off the moment his dizziness subsided. He sped his way over to a box next to the door, pulling out a dark green cape and wrapping it around himself. He tossed a red scarf to Roman, who wrapped it around his shoulders and promptly sprinted out of the bedroom door and across the hall, Remus following only a second after. 

Logan ran a hand over his face. “Ah, yes. I forgot how unpredictable children are.”   
“See, Lo? Everything's fine now.” Patton replied. A crash was heard from down the hall.   
“Are you certain?” Logan barely held back a smirk as Patton’s face turned a couple shades whiter.   
“I hope so.” the blue side responded, turning and following the twins down the hall. Logan shook his head, smiling to himself. Maybe he could get used to this.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two halves: one good; one bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya! sorry it's been a while since I updated...   
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS: a lot of unsympathetic Patton, some minor cursing, minor poison (Nobody gets sick from it but I feel like I should mention it anyway)

It wasn’t that Patton hated him. Patton could never hate anybody, not if he was held at gunpoint and ordered to. But something about Remus… unnerved him, for lack of a better word. 

The green side wasn’t trying to upset Patton, and he knew that. Remus had tried _so many times_ to come up with an idea that Patton would approve of, even reciting some of Roman’s ideas to feign innocence. It was just his job to come up with the less… family friendly ideas. That was what bothered Patton so much. 

How could Thomas be a good person with _those_ kinds of thoughts inside his head? Remus’s ideas were dangerous, offensive, and just sounded awful, especially in comparison to his brother’s. Still, the two did make a good team, even when they were tearing up the house on one of their ‘quests’.

“You can’t get me!” Roman shrieked excitedly, sprinting down the staircase and turning around the corner. Remus followed, mere seconds away, slightly slower than his twin despite the fact that he was the one with the most energy. The two had been racing around the house for almost an hour now, laughing and giggling crazily as they did so. Roman paused tauntingly in the doorway, giving Remus a second or two to get closer, and took off just before his twin reached him. He came to a halt in the living room, however, as Logan stood with his hands on his hips, blocking his path. Remus slowed and stood next to his brother, holding his hands up in a defensive stance.   
“We didn’t do it this time.” he excused - Logan’s facial expression indicated that the two were about to be lectured, and Remus couldn’t actually remember what they had done this time.   
“I am well aware that you haven’t caused any trouble,” Logan started, leaving out the word ‘yet’. Everyone knew it was implied anyway. “But you have been running around for almost an hour now. Don’t you think you should stop for a while and get some water?” he wouldn’t say he was as concerned as Patton would have been, but he didn’t really want the twins fainting and interrupting the book that he was reading.   
“Great idea!” Roman yelled, taking off in the direction of the kitchen. Remus followed, not bothering to reply to Logan, who simply shook his head fondly and settled back onto the couch with his book. 

As the two raced into the kitchen, Roman slipped sideways, grabbing onto the counter for support, and managed to knock over a glass dish in his haste to stay upright. He jumped back instinctively, whereas Remus jumped towards the now shattered glass, unsure of whether he was trying to protect his brother or was genuinely curious about the glass. Broken glass was sharp, right? He grinned, a new idea already beginning to set itself inside his head. 

The shattering of the glass startled Patton, who was busy cooking dinner by the oven. He turned around, and because Remus was near to the glass, he instantly thought…

“Remus, how many times have we told you to be more careful?” he scolded, looking at the green side, who was now looking u at him with shock.   
“Not fair! That was Roman, not me!” he protested, looking over to his brother, who now held a teasing smirk.   
“What? No it wasn’t!” Roman lied.   
“Don’t try to blame your brother. Lying only makes things worse.” Patton continued. Remus turned to look at his brother, a look of betrayal on his face.   
“Roman! You’re such a…” he thought hard, suddenly remembering the word one of Thomas’s classmates had used yesterday morning. “A dick!” The word gave him satisfaction and made him grin, but judging by the startled face from Roman and the disapproving glare from Patton, they didn’t share his enthusiasm.   
“Remus, I’m ashamed of you!” Patton lectured. “Go to your room. Now.” Remus turned to leave, the grin still on his face, until Roman interrupted.   
“Wait.” he started. The other two turned to him. “It was me who broke the dish.” Patton looked at him, a disappointed look on his face.   
“Then you go upstairs as well,” he decided. “You two can stay in your room until dinner.” 

Remus didn’t miss the way Patton was gentler with Roman. Instead of saying anything, he turned and stomped his way up the stairs, pausing to wait for Roman before slamming the door, which rang loudly across the hall. 

“Ugh.” Roman groaned, flopping down dramatically onto the bottom bunk bed. Remus giggled; he was much more used to being confined to his room due to his ‘less than ideal thoughts’ (which he couldn’t control, so screw you, Patton!) and as a result he almost enjoyed being sent there. Roman, however, didn’t.   
“I’m so bored.” he whined, rolling over to face the top bunk that Remus had claimed. Said side chuckled, not looking up from the pile of stuff he was looking through. He pulled a marker from the bottom of the pile and tossed the rest of the things onto the floor. Jumping up, he uncapped the marker and turned to the wall.   
“What are you doing?” Roman screeched, standing up and sprinting over.   
“Drawing.” Remus responded with a shrug, beginning to scribble onto the wall.   
“On the wall?” Roman questioned. “Patton will be annoyed.”   
“Who cares what he thinks?” Remus turned briefly to look Roman in the eye. “It’s not his room, it’s ours.” 

With a sudden turn of the handle, the door opened, revealing Patton, who stood in the doorway with a small smile. This dropped when he saw Remus holding a marker and the beginnings of something gruesome drawn on the wall.   
“Roman, Logan wants to ask you a question.” he prompted, and the red side ran off down the hallway, eager to know what Logan wanted. Patton turned to Remus, who looked at the ground guiltily, putting the lid back on his marker.   
“Remus, I know you don’t really want to do these things. You don’t want to break things, and you don’t want to graffiti things.” Patto started, taking on his usual father-like stance. “But you need to try harder.”  
“It’s not my fault!” the younger side protested. “I just find them funny. I want to make you guys laugh, I don’t think…”  
“And there’s the problem, kiddo. You don’t think.” Patton seemed to get irritated, a rare trait for him. “Remus, look at me.” Remus kept his gaze on the floor. “Your ideas are corrupting your brother.”   
“Roman likes my ideas! He does!” Remus shouted, looking up at Patton. Rage simmered in his stomach.   
“Kiddo, you may think those ideas are funny, but they’re upsetting Roman.” That wasn’t true. None of this was true! Roman was never upset with him, he knew that for certain.   
Patton mistook Remus’s silence for guilt, and a small, satisfied smile came to his face. “You don’t want to hurt Roman, do you?”   
With tear-filled eyes, Remus looked up and shook his head slowly.   
“No need to cry, now. Just focus on fixing your mistakes, and everything will be fine.” Patton turned, without another word, and left, closing the door quietly behind him. Inside the room, Remus climbed up to his bed and fell down face-first onto his pillow, where he laid still until Roman returned. 

“Remus? Are you awake?” he whispered upon seeing his brother laid on the bed.   
“Go away.” came the muffled response. Roman frowned.   
“Did Patton do something?” he asked softly, standing so he was at eye-level with his brother. Remus looked up after a moment, and Roman wordlessly observed how Remus’s eyes were red and puffy from crying. Remus didn’t cry.   
“I’m not bad.” he whispered, resting his head on the pillow again.   
“Of course you aren’t! You’re funny, and you have great ideas-”   
“No one likes my ideas.” Remus said with a sniff, wiping away another tear.   
“I do!”  
“Patton said you don’t.” Remus paused. “Patton says I’m hurting you with my ideas.”   
“That’s a lie. Patton doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” Roman decided. Remus smiled slightly, sitting up.  
“Exactly. He’s a dick.” Remus giggled, and Roman soon joined in. After a minute, Remus stopped.   
“Roman?” he spoke softly.  
“Yeah?”  
“I want to get revenge on Patton.” 

And so the pair formulated a plan. A harmless collection of childhood pranks that would cause no harm, but would give them the satisfaction they wanted. Roman had crept silently and swiftly into the kitchen, where Patton was making food, pulling out a hidden shampoo bottle as soon as the father-figure’s back was turned. Remus had crept his way into Patton’s room, armed with a rainbow of sharpies and a head full of ideas. The catch to this was that Patton could wave a hand and the drawings would disappear, but it was sure to give him the shock he deserved. Patton would probably think Remus was even more evil after this, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He just wanted to do something. These were simple tricks that could maybe warrant a punishment or two, but they were worth it. 

It wasn’t until Patton called the twins down for dinner that they realised maybe they’d made a mistake. Oh well, no going back now, right?

“I must admit, this smells unusually good today, Patton.” Logan complimented as soon as his plate of food was set down in front of him.   
“Thank you, Logan!” Patton smiled. Roman nudged Remus, fighting off a laugh as they sat down. Patton gave the two a serving each, before sitting down with a plate for himself. Roman stirred his food around nervously, whilst Remus took an experimental bite, earning a strange look from his brother. He had no time to react to the food, however, as Logan - who had already begun eating - started to cough, quickly summoning a tissue, which he spat his mouthful into. The other three watched, concerned, as he coughed more, reaching for his glass of water and gulping it down.   
“What’s wrong? Is it bad?” Patton asked nervously, watching the Logical side as he attempted to compose himself.   
“It tastes… unusual.” Logan struggled to find the right words, not wanting to upset Patton. As the fatherly side took a taste from his own meal, all eyes were on him, and Remus took the opportunity to pick up the salt shaker and shook it a few times, adding a lot of salt to Patton’s drink. He acted confused when Patton coughed upon sipping his water, mirroring Roman’s actual confused expression.   
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what I did wrong…” Patton started to explain.   
“I dunno Patton, it tastes fine to me.” Remus reassured, taking a large bite of his food. Unlike the others he enjoyed the taste. Patton frowned at him as he chewed.   
“You did something, didn’t you?” Patton’s frown grew and his voice darkened. Remus’s facade broke and he dissolved into maniacal laughter.   
“Shampoo.” he got the word out, still laughing. Logan coughed, reaching for his water.   
“That’s inedible.” he commented warily. Remus just laughed more, pushing Patton to breaking point.   
“Unbelievable!” Patton’s shout stopped everything; Remus shut up, Roman looked at him with wide eyes, and Logan set his water down, watching carefully. “After the conversation I had with you less than an hour ago about these kinds of things, you do something stupid like this-”   
“Actually, it was me who added the shampoo.” Roman confessed, instantly regretting it when Patton glared more.   
“No, I have had enough of you doing these evil things, Remus, and now you’re getting your brother to lie for you? That’s-”  
“I’m not lying!” Roman’s protest was unheard over the shouting and lecturing coming from Patton. Logan looked as though he wanted to speak, but said nothing.   
“You’re lying, you’re corrupting your brother, you’re poisoning us.” Patton continued. “You are an evil side, and you’re hurting Thomas.” Remus slid down in his chair, a little guilty again, and Roman stood up.   
“That isn’t true!” the red side screamed.   
“Your ideas are going to ruin Thomas’s life.” Patton spoke. The room fell so silent Remus could hear Patton’s breathing, heavy and unsteady from all the rage he was emitting all of a sudden. Looked like it wouldn’t be just a few punishments this time…   
“Remus, you need to come with me.” Atton spoke slowly and quietly, in a threatening tone completely unlike him.   
“Hold on, Patton, it was a harmless joke, no need to-”   
“Get up.” Patton stared Remus straight in the eye. The younger side stood up, expecting more shouts, maybe even to be hit or something. This would be over soon, it was okay, right? 

There was no hitting, however. Patton simply grabbed Remus’s sleeve and led him down the corridor. He followed, too afraid and curious to protest. Logan was protesting, he was almost shouting at Patton, but Patton wasn’t taking any notice.   
“You need to learn that you can’t just share the first thing that pops into your head. You can’t act on the first idea you get. You’re hurting yourself, you’re hurting Roman,and you’re hurting Thomas.” Patton lectured as they walked, further and further until they were at the end of the corridor, in front of the dark, cold door that the other sides had always warned him to stay away from. Patton tugged open the door, and it swung open. Remus peered inside, already cold was beginning to radiate from the doorway and he took a step back hesitantly, prepared to run. Patton, still shouting, seemed to sense his intentions and gripped his shoulders steadily.   
“-and until you can learn that, you belong in here.” in one sudden, swift movement, Patton shoved Remus forward and the side fell, landing on the icy floor just in front of the doorway. He couldn’t see anything in the darkness in front of him, and turned back to Patton, a terrified feeling bubbling up inside him. Patton’s eyes were colder than the room itself, and he slammed the door shut with a loud bang that seemed to echo throughout the whole of the mindscape. 

Remus turned frantically, seeing nothing in the biting cold around him, and burst into tears. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woop, and the angst begins!   
> Hope that was ok, feel free to give suggestions or point out any mistakes you spot! :)
> 
> If you're bored or feel like it, check out my Tumblr - 'Straight-as-ramen'


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton and Logan disagree while Roman cries. Remus meets some new sides.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings - Unsympathetic Patton, mentions of self harm, vomiting

The most eerie thing about the room was how silent it was. Even at night, there was always some sort of noise, whether it was his brother’s snoring or the rain outside the window, but now there wasn’t a single sound. The darkness seemed to surround him like a heavy, overwhelming blanket, suffocating him. He felt trapped amongst the absence of vision, and his imagination showed him no mercy as it presented him with endless possibilities as to what was in the room. What was in there? He didn’t feel like meeting a crazy axe murderer today, and the idea of freezing to death next to a closed door only made him feel worse. 

Curled up into a tiny ball on the floor, he moved a hand up to wipe a tear from his face. Everything felt icy, as though he was outside in the snow in the middle of the night, but judging by the stone cold floor beneath him, he wasn’t outside. Still he shivered from his place on the ground, unsure whether it was from the biting cold or from the paralysing fear slowly seeping its way through him. He tapped his hands against the door in a pattern, determined that if he just tapped enough times, they’d give in and open the door. He’d never speak again if it meant he’d be let back inside and given a chance. 

But the door didn’t open, no matter how much he prayed it would, and he edged closer, leaning into the tease of warmth that it gave him, and sobbed. 

* * *

A steady tick from the clock was one of the main things that Logan noticed about the room. There was complete silence; no humming as dishes were cleaned, no tapping as games were played, no mixing as cookies were made. Patton was completely silent. To his best part, he did look slightly guilty as he sat at the empty table, still surrounded by the dishes and leftover food. Logan almost felt sympathetic: Patton often felt guilty over small things that weren’t his fault, but this, well, this was certainly a different matter. He couldn’t simply brush this off, as they say. 

“You’re not going to say anything?” Logan began, stepping into the room and sitting at the table. Patton eyed him with a stare. Then he spoke.   
“It had to be done, Logan. Thomas can not have those kinds of thoughts inside his head. It’s not right.”   
“I find that hard to believe. Remus’s ideas and suggestions are worth listening to, even if you don’t approve of them.” Logan argued, glaring at Patton. This was an issue he was all too familiar with.   
“I’m only trying to do what’s best for Thomas!” Patton defended, raising his voice a little.   
“Patton, you cannot just cast a side away because you don’t believe they are right for Thomas. It is a decision that we all need to contribute to, and Roman and I both believe that Remus did not need to become a dark side.”   
“Shh!” Patton held a finger up, his eyes wide. “Roman doesn’t even know what a dark side is. He’s too young to know that.”   
“Roman is exactly the same age as us. You just view him as younger due to his childish behaviour-”  
“Still, he doesn’t need to know.”  
“You believe Roman does not have a right to know what has happened to his brother? Patton, I’m emotionless and even I believe that’s cruel-”  
“Remus will be fine. It’s not like I killed him or anything.”  
“Patton, listen to me. You didn’t listen to me before, when you decided to cast away Anxiety, and that did not turn out well-”  
“Don’t bring that into this! You know that Anxiety was hurting Thomas, I did my job-”  
“No, Patton, you didn’t do your job! Your job is to guide Thomas on what’s right and wrong, it is not to throw away sides of Thomas just because you don’t like their ideas!” the two were getting nowhere with their arguing, both rigidly stuck to their beliefs and unwilling to listen to each other. 

Leaning against the door, Roman tried to slow his crying. The other two hadn’t stopped shouting for too long, and he was tired of it. He just wanted Remus to come back, He just wanted…

He wanted to be whole again. Roman remembered being Creativity, the original Creativity, before the split. The confidence he had, the endless ideas, the possibilities he could come up with at the snap of a finger, it was… amazing. Of course, at the time Creativity hadn’t known what he had. You have to experience the bad to see the good in your life. At least as the first Creativity, Roman had felt complete. Now he felt like half of a person, and the other half was slowly, painfully fading away from him. 

He missed Remus. He missed the way Remus would joke around to distract him whenever Logan and Patton were annoyed at each other, and he missed having someone to help demonstrate his ideas when he couldn’t get them out properly. He slumped against the door, ignoring the ice-cold feeling that the metal gave him, and cried. 

* * *

Remus cried. He cried until he felt sick, until his throat felt raw and his head pounded. He shivered as the cold bit into him like a wild animal, chilling him from his skin to his bones. He wasn’t going to survive. If the cold didn’t kill him then his own mind would. He dug his fingernails into his skin until it bled, desperate for any kind of distraction. He sobbed uncontrollably until he threw up, and then cried more. What was going to happen to him now? He was scared, terrified, and the darkness only made things worse. There was a dry feeling in his throat, and he wasn’t sure he could speak even if he wanted to. He took a deep breath in, and let out a loud, piercing cry. That eased some of his negativity for a moment - until suddenly he heard a noise from in the distance. 

There were footsteps approaching, faint yet unmistakable. Someone was coming closer, and though he felt like he should be happy, he only felt more dread. Hopefully they’d kill him quickly? Opening his eyes wide, he saw a slightly darker outline, standing out against the already pitch-black room. There was a click as a switch flipped, and then light flooded into the room like a beacon of hope. Remus looked over to the figure, who met his gaze, and screamed.   
“Dee?!” the figure called over his shoulder. “You need to see this.” A second set of footsteps quickly approached, and half a face carefully peeked out from behind a wall. Great, so now there were two people staring at him like he was in a zoo. Remus curled tightly into a ball, trying to slow his breathing, which now seemed to be stuck as a dangerously high speed and left him gasping for air on the floor.   
“Hey.” the first figure stepped closer. “I’m going to try and help you. Can you name 5 things you can see?”   
“Uhh… The floor.” Remus started, his voice small and shaky, as though the scream had drained it away.   
“Good.”   
“Your hoodie. A rug.”   
“Great, just two more.”   
“My shoes. And…” Remus looked around. “Him.” he pointed to the second person standing near the doorway silently.   
“That’s good. You’re doing great. Can you name 4 things you can feel?”   
Remus dragged his hand along the cold, smooth texture of the floor. “The floor. My clothes. The door.” he reached his hand out, seeking something else, and his hand brushed against the person’s leg. He pulled it back immediately. “You.”   
“Perfect. 3 things that you can hear?”  
“You speaking, my breathing and…” he paused for a moment, listening carefully for another sound, and the person at the doorway cleared his throat. “Him coughing.”   
“2 things you can smell.” This was a little easier,since he had thrown up earlier and that was starting to smell. The room also smelt strange anyway, a big, empty kind of smell.  
“Uhh, that.” he pointed to the stain on his clothes. “And the air.”  
The figure grimaced a little. “1 thing you can taste.”   
“Acid.” he smirked a little at that, for some reason. One of the things Patton would call bad.   
“Well done.” the figure nodded. Remus frowned.   
“Why is this room so cold?” he questioned.   
“It’s to keep the others away. Obviously it doesn't work very well.” The second person stepped closer, showing the whole of him, and the first thing Remus noticed was the scales that trailed along the left side of his face, a startling green in contrast to the normal skin on the other side. It did look cool even though it was unusual. Remus bit his tongue, resisting the urge to mention them. That wasn’t the way to start, these people helped him after all.   
“Patton always says to stay away from that door. He says it isn’t safe.” Remus muttered, more to himself than to the other two.  
“Well then what are you doing here?” the snake-person came closer and knelt down on the floor next to the other person.   
“I didn’t mean to. Patton-” Remus stopped as the familiar feeling of panic came back to him. He remembered exactly what happened.   
“Hey.” the guy in the hoodie called, getting Remus’s focus back. “Do you have a function?”   
“I’m Creativity.” he replied instantly. Then he frowned. “But my brother is too. It gets confusing, so the others call me Remus.” The other two shared a look before turning back to Remus.   
“Why don’t you get cleaned up a little?” the snake-side suggested. He stood up and held out a hand to Remus, who nervously took it and allowed himself to be pulled up. He followed the other two down the corridor, the lighter conditions hurting his eyes after hours of sitting in the dark, until they reached a kitchen similar to the one he was used to. There was however a distinct lack of vibrant colors, making Remus feel out of place in his green outfit. That said, he felt oddly welcome, as though he belonged here. It was significantly warmer in the kitchen, and his shivering had come to a stop. 

Without warning, the snake-side lifted Remus onto the counter, turning to a cupboard and pulling out a first aid kit. What… oh, the scratches on his arm. They were barely bleeding, but he didn’t want to protest, so sat still, silently watching as the person cleaned his arm carefully.  
“Who are you?” he whispered, not taking his eyes away from the person’s gentle hands as they cleaned the specks of blood up. He didn’t say anything, too focussed.   
“That’s Deceit.” the other person introduced quickly.   
“Deceit? Like lying?” Remus peered up at the side in question, who kept silent, wrapping a bandage around Remus’s arm.   
“Yeah. And I’m Anxiety.” the hoodie wearing side continued.   
“Why don't you two have names?” Remus questioned. Deceit scoffed.   
“What’s the point in having a name? We can easily tell each other apart and we have our functions.” he responded, finishing with the bandage.   
“Patton suggested it. He’s Morality.” Remus spoke, not missing the look that the other two shared.   
“Oh, yes, we’re big fans of Morality.” Deceit drawled, turning to put away the medical supplies. Remus looked down at himself, snapping his fingers to clean his outfit.   
“So how did you get here, Remus?” Anxiety cut in.   
“Pat- Morality got annoyed with me for being ‘a bad influence on Roman’.” Remus mocked, his voice going high-pitched as he relayed the Moral side’s words.   
“He threw you out?” Anxiety seemed familiar with the idea, and Remus nodded.   
“I’m a bad side. I hurt Thomas.” Remus muttered, not wanting to think about it yet lacking the control to stop doing so.   
“I don’t think you are. What makes you say that?” Deceit asked. Remus looked at the floor.   
“I give him ideas that Patton doesn’t like. Things like jumping out of a moving car, or throwing a dog out of a window, or-” Anxiety began coughing and turned away, seemingly shocked, and Remus paused, waiting for the familiar lecture about how his ideas were bad and he should keep them to himself.   
“Hmm.” Deceit paused. He nudged the Anxious side with his foot, prompting him to turn around again. “So Patton sent you here because of those ideas?”   
“Yeah. I need to stay here until I realise my ideas are bad.”   
“Hey. Your ideas aren’t as bad as you think.” Deceit put a hand on Remus's shoulder, looking the green side in the eye. “Maybe it’s helpful to Thomas to be aware of all possibilities.”   
“But-”   
“No. Try not to think about that. Patton was wrong, and we will prove it.” Deceit smiled, and Remus did the same. Maybe things would be OK here…

* * *

“I am getting tired of you not listening, Patton. I have told you so many times, banishing a side because you do not like them is not good! This is exactly what happened with Anxiety, and I’m sure you’re well aware of the consequences of that!” Logan shouted, frustrated after many attempts to get through to the Moral side. Patton simply looked back, his expression blank. 

“I’m only trying to do what is best for Thomas-”   
“No, you’re not! You know that banishing Remus will only cause him to become more of a nuisance to Thomas, and splitting the twins up like that was completely heartless!” this silenced Patton. The two had both seen Roman, who had been sitting at the door and crying for the past three hours. He’d tried opening it multiple times, screaming and crying as he did so, but of course the door didn’t budge, only able to be opened by Patton.   
“Do you realise the effect that this will have on Roman, and therefore Thomas?” Logan asked. Patton gave a hesitant nod.   
“Then here is what you’re going to do. You are going to go back to the door, open it and you’re going to let Remus back in and pray that he forgives you.`` His instructions were stern, indicating that there was no arguing to be done. Patton stood, his legs shaky, and made his way back to the door, Logan following close behind. Seeing the two approach, Roman stood, moving away from the door. His eyes filled with hope as he watched Patton place a careful hand on the door handle, whispering to himself as he opened it. It swung outwards, and the three light sides peered inside, shivering from the cold. 

Remus wasn’t there. 

Logan gave a long sigh, placing a hand over his face as he mentally calculated the outcomes of the situation. Roman let out a sob, falling to the floor from where he was standing. Patton sighed too, and a tear ran down his face.   
“What have I done?” he whispered. No answer came. 


	5. Chapter 5

Remus was a dark side, and he wasn’t sure how to feel about it. 

He was beginning to discover that the dark sides were completely different to how the light sides had been. For instance, there was a distinct lack of rules. When the three sat in the living room later that evening, prepared for an evening of horror movies (Anxiety’s choice of course), Remus noticed Deceit kick his feet up onto the table with a sigh the moment they sat down. He watched silently, remembering the way Patton would scold him for doing so, but when no shout or complaint about bad manners came, he grinned. Anxiety had settled himself on the back of the couch, curled into a comfortable ball as he looked to the TV with a hint of excitement. Remus paused for a second, mentally debating the idea before settling himself on the arm rest of the couch, hesitantly glancing to the others. They barely glanced at him. This was awesome! He could definitely get used to this. 

Anxiety fiddled with the TV remote from his spot on the back of the couch, settling on a horror movie which Remus had no recollection of seeing before. Come to think of it, he wasn’t sure even Thomas had seen this before. It was cool though, so he didn’t protest, turning his attention to the movie the same way the other two did. Deceit called out predictions of the storyline every so often, getting them right most of the time, and Anxiety smirked each time the main character screamed. Remus was just excited because the light sides had never approved of horror movies, and plus this movie did have some gruesome scenes, making it hard not to laugh every so often. It was interesting to see some of the things he’d wondered about come to life. Patton would have never approved of this. Come to think of it, neither would Logan. 

But Remus wasn’t a light side anymore. He was a dark side, and he liked it.

Even if he still missed Roman a little…

* * *

Roman wasn’t happy. 

OK, maybe that was an understatement. Roman had never felt more miserable in his life. He’d spent the past week just laying around aimlessly, his mind drifting back to the door and what may be behind it. He had no plans of gaining enthusiasm, or even moving anytime soon. Patton had tried to join him multiple times with suggestions of watching disney movies or writing a new story together, but Roman had refused to move, simply glaring the father-like side down until he had backed away reluctantly. The only times Roman had moved was whe Logan came in with some food or to comfort him, and then he had only sat up and looked at him with half-empty eyes. 

But even Logan wasn’t completely innocent, because he refused to tell Roman what was on the other side of the door. Roman knew that he knew what was there, Logan knew everything, but he refused to give any details. Patton and Logan had barely spoken since the incident, almost always ending with an argument when they did. Roman refused to speak to Patton, and later got annoyed with Logan too for not telling him what was on the other side of the door. He spent days on the couch, staring into space as he thought of his brother. Was he even still alive? Something did feel wrong, as though he was missing something. He felt hollow. 

With a long sigh, Roman finally stood, taking himself to the kitchen, where he lazily picked an orange from the food bowl. A thought crossed his mind, a memory of last time he’d eaten an orange, when Remus had tried to convince him to eat it with the peel, and with slight hesitation he bit into it.   
“You forgot to peel it.” came Patton’s gentle voice from in front of him. Roman jumped; he hadn’t known Patton was in here.   
“No I didn’t.” Roman shrugged. Doing this did remind him of Remus and his strange eating habits, but orange peel didn’t taste good, that was for certain.   
“Look kiddo.” Patton stepped in front of him, gently prying the orange from his hands. “I know you’re missing your brother, but that isn’t going to make you feel any better.”  
“Why did you do it?” Roman shot back, glaring at Patton.   
“Roman, I promise you it was for the best. I know you don’t think that right now, but trust me, you will.” Patton reasoned. Roman glared at the floor. “You’ll be back to your happy, bubbly self in no time!”   
Roman didn’t see how he could feel better when half of him was missing, but he nodded anyway, tired of arguing with Patton. A stray tear slipped down his face and he wiped it away before Patton could notice. He took the orange back, eating it the normal way.   
“There, that’s better. Now, how do you feel about a Disney movie night?” 

* * *

Deceit was furious. He was getting real tired of Morality and his stupid habit of throwing out any sides he didn’t aprove of. He could see why Patton would disagree with some of Remus’s ideas, but was it really necessary to send him here? Remus was nowhere near evil - not that he was either, but still. 

And how the fuck did Creativity end up splitting into two anyways? Well, he knew how. After all, the side had been split into a good version and a bad version, and everyone knew who was responsible for Thomas’s rights and wrongs. But did Patton really consider Remus to be wrong? Deceit couldn’t see anything majorly wrong with him. Sure, he had unusual ideas (Deceit was yet to hear any of those ideas, Remus had hardly spoken and it was unnerving) but he seemed harmless. 

As the TV emitted a violent scream that had both Remus and Anxiety cackling with laughter, Deceit broke away from his thoughts and stretched, glancing over to the other two. Anxiety was leant forward, snickering at the movie as though it were a comedy, and Remus was now on the seat next to him hanging upside down. His face was a little red but other than that he looked fine.   
“Are you comfortable there?” Deceit asked with a faint smile. Remus tried to shrug, instead slipping down a little as he focussed on the movie. Deceit chuckled, standing up and grabbing the now empty bowl that had previously been filled with popcorn. He made his way to the kitchen, his thoughts taking over once again. 

He should probably speak with Morality, if only to stop him from throwing out any more sides unnecessarily. Perhaps he ought to say something to Logic too, get him to do more to stop him. He guessed the side didn’t protest too much, instead opting for the option of leaving the others to it and going back to his work. Deceit had yet to meet the other Creativity, having not interacted with the light sides for quite some time, but if he was anything like his twin then Roman would be an innocent, harmless child who didn’t ask to be caught up in any of this. Deceit felt sympathetic for the twin, having lost his brother like that. Sympathy towards a light side? That was new.

With a full bowl of fresh popcorn, Deceit reentered the living room, setting the bowl down on the table. Instantly the other two lunged towards it, hungrily grabbing handfuls of popcorn each and sitting back to eat.   
“You know what would be cool?” Remus spoke through a mouthful of popcorn. “If someone swallowed a whole bag of popcorn kernels right before they died.” The other two gave him puzzled looks, and he smirked.   
“Why?” Anxiety hesitantly asked.   
“Well, think how epic the cremation would turn out!” he elaborated, unable to contain his laughter. Anxiety smirked, thinking the idea over, and Deceit ran a hand over his face, not really sure what to think. Receiving no answers, Remus shrugged, going back to the popcorn, however inside he was rejoicing. They may not have answered, but there was no lecture or angry looks thrown his way like there would have been if he was still with the light sides. Perhaps they found it just as funny he did. 

Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad here after all, he thought to himself. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins meet again in the imagination. Things have changed....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Triggers - some mentions of unsympathetic!Patton, Typical Remus stuff including strange eating habits

In the months that followed, the brothers adapted to their new lifestyles 

Roman spent his time, well, being creative. He’d often be found writing a complex story, or sketching a detailed piece of art, prompted by the endless stream of ideas that flew through his head like city traffic, offering themselves to him day and night. He stored his work (which was mainly either stories about fighting dragons or drawings of noble princes) in a large, hard backed notebook that was safely stored under his bed. He’d only look at his creations when aone - he was proud of them and knew the other sides would approve, but these creations felt personal somehow. Nonetheless, he viewed his creations with a prideful eye; they were brilliant, and most were worthy of sharing with Thomas. Speaking of Thomas, the boy was now a little older and stored his ideas in a similar book, prompted by Roman to share them with his family every so often. 

Of course, Roman still had a few moments of misery, where he’d long to act out the latest movie Thomas had seen and would miss his brother, or he’d wake up with a fresh idea and begin to voice it to the open air of his room, forgetting that he was now the only occupant for a moment. But these moments were becoming less and less frequent, and he suppressed any feelings of loneliness in favour of a new creation. The other sides were no help if Roman felt lonely; Logan insisted he didn’t know what feelings were, and Patton would ruffle his hair with a sad smile and try to distract Roman. If he mentioned his brother around the moral side, Patton would share his usual words: “it was for the best,” and “You’ll feel better soon.”, all of that stuff. Patton would never understand what it was like to lose an entire half of yourself, but Roman couldn’t stand to be angry about it anymore. For his best part, the father-figure seemed genuinely sorry, and he had only been trying to do what was right anyway… right? 

Still, things were getting better. Thomas was becoming known amongst his class and his family for having such positie, creative ideas all the time, and every time someone told the boy this, Roman was filled with such pride that he forgot about his brother for a few seconds. Like Patton said, it was time to let go of Remus, the side had his own things to think about now, and Roman was just fine without him.

* * *

Remus did miss the light sides, even just a little, although he found that saying this tended to upset Deceit and Anxiety. He spent a lot of time thinking about his brother and what he may be doing at the time, and sometimes he got confused when he woke up and couldn;t hear his brother’s soft snores from the bed below him (he didn’t have bunk beds anymore, so it would be a little odd if Roman was under there, but still). The other two didn’t do many things he'd call fun, Anxiety liked to hide in the dark corners of the room or upstairs away from everyone and would get annoyed whenever Remus tried to bother him, and although Deceit was a little more social he could sense the side’s frustration sometimes when Remus couldn’t shut up. But he could see how hard the sides were trying to make him feel happy, and for that he was grateful. They listened and provided input to his ideas - Deceit didn’t pull strange faces if Remus mentioned animal corpses while they were eating, and Anxiety just smirked and ruffled his hair if he suggested an idea that wasn’t family friendly. Remus was happy to speak his mind without someone complaining that his ideas were “inappropriate”. 

* * *

One afternoon, as Thomas was sitting in class and pretending to listen to what the teacher was saying, Roman sat with the other two, sketching away happily. Logan was (unsuccessfully) attempting to refocus Thomas, who was fighting to keep his daydream as his main focus. After the third time Thomas caught one of the teacher’s sentences and had no idea what was happening - a common occurrence, much to Logan’s annoyance - the Logical side turned to Roman, who was not-so-innocently smirking as he drew.   
“Will you please stop that and let him focus! This is important!” Logan’s exasperation was clear in his tone, yet it only made Roman smile more.   
“Come on, as if Thomas needs to listen to this anyway! He’d much prefer to daydream, I know it!” Roman reasoned. “He’s learnt how to count and spell stuff, what else does she need to know? This is much more exciting.” The two sides began quarrelling - also a common occurrence - but were interrupted when Thomas was called on by the teacher and could only stutter nonsense, unable to remember what the question was or how to answer it.   
“See? This is your fault!” Logan complained. “Just go upstairs for a while, stop distracting Thomas!”   
With a reluctant sigh, Roman closed his notebook, standing and making his way up the stairs to his room. He could easily feed Thomas some ideas from up there, and what was Logan going to do about it? Thomas was known as a dreamer, Roman couldn’t let that die now. 

But upon entering his room, Roman stopped dead in his tracks, all previous thoughts forgotten. In his room, covering the wall that had been left empty, there was now a door, It was blank, a simple white, wooden thing that stood in his room just begging to be opened. Roman grabbed his sword from its place leaning by the wall and put a careful hand on the handle of the door. He turned the handle, stepping out and closing it behind him. 

* * *

Meanwhile, Remus hummed a song he’d made up as he walked along the corridor, tapping his hand on the wall as he did so. He opened the door to his room, - a place he didn’t spend much time in. He much preferred to sit in the living room with one of the others, but Anxiety was having one of those periods of time where he isolated himself in his room and barely left for days, and Deceit had also resigned for the afternoon, claiming he was tired after dealing with Remus for the whole morning. Remus hadn’t been easy - he’d experimented this morning and rather than eating normal food he’d eaten the whole jar of coffee beans straight - so he believed him, but that didn’t make it any less boring to have no one else around to talk to. Still, the coffee beans were making his stomach hurt, so maybe being in his room and quiet for a while wasn’t such a bad idea. 

However, as he stepped into his room, shutting the door behind him, he was interrupted by the presence of a door that definitely hadn’t been there before. What…? 

Remus stepped closer, curiosity flooding through his veins and reached out a hand to touch the door. Trying not to be disappointed when nothing popped out and bit him, he opened the door, stepping through.

Instantly, he was met with a vast, open space of empty, boring land. Ugh, there were so many things that could make this place even slightly more exciting! Some grass, or some trees, or maybe just-

Wait. 

As Remus thought of each of these items, there were faint flashes of light around, and the items began to appear. Soft, green grass began to grow, starting at the spot he was standing and spreading out in a wave. A tree sprouted up from the ground, sheltering him with it’s tall branches, and a leaf dropped down, landing on his head. He shook it off. What was this place? Why were the things he imagined coming to life? 

Remus closed his eyes, searching his mind for another cool thing to conjure up, but was interrupted by a distant sound. He paused, quickly conjuring a sword - he was getting used to this! - and gripped it tightly in his hand before heading in the direction of the sound. Another sound pointed him in the right direction, and he looked over. 

Standing amidst what could only be described as absolute chaos was his brother. 

Remus’s sword fell to the floor with a clang. _‘Am I hallucinating?’_ Roman started, sending the objects around him to the floor. He looked up, the shocked expression on his face mirroring his brother’s.   
“Roman?” Remus whispered. The side in questions sprinted over, tackling his brother into a hug which sent the pair flying to the floor. Roman was already crying.   
“I thought you were gone!” Roman explained. Remus held onto him tightly.   
“I’m here.” the brothers hugged for what felt like an eternity. 

It only took an hour for the two to catch up, despite the fact that it had been almost half a year since they’d last seen each other. The twins sat on the ground, conjuring various objects and talking excitedly.   
“So you’re with… Anxiety and Deceit?” Roman repeated slowly, a little uncertain. Remus nodded.   
“They’re cool! Deceit is part snake and Anxiety hides in his room a lot.”   
“Right…” Roman narrowed his eyes, confused. Reus didn’t notice, too caught up in his words.   
“And they like my ideas!”   
“Your ideas?”   
“You don’t remember?” Remus’s voice grew quieter. “You liked my ideas.”   
“Oh, those ideas.” The ideas that Patton said were evil and hurt Thomas. Roman kept quiet.   
“Yeah, like licking the tires of the schoolbus, or putting soup in a book, or…”   
“Yeah, I remember.” Roman stood up, conjuring a wristwatch and checking the time on it. “We should probably go back now, the others will be worried about us.”   
“Will you come back tomorrow?” Remus’s voice was quiet, suddenly like a young child, and Roman’s face softened.   
“”Of course.” he smiled. “But maybe we shouldn’t tell the others that we see each other. Patton…” Roman’s sentence trailed off, and he didn’t miss the slightly angry look that Remus gained when he mentioned the father-like side. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll see you tomorrow?” he smiled, and Reus smiled back. Then the two turned away from each other, heading back to their rooms. 

* * *

Roman was conflicted. Surely Remus hadn’t been that bad when he’d been with the others? Sure, he’d had some unusual ideas, but nothing like that. In most of his sentences, he’d laced in an absurd metaphor, or a suggestion that seemed insane. Patton would have fainted if he’d heard any of them, and probably locked Remus away so that he couldn’t even talk to those other sides. If they were real, that was. Something was definitely wrong with Remus. But he was still Roman’s brother, and he didn’t plan on losing him any time soon. 

He heard Patton's words in his head. Remus was bad, his ideas were harmful to Thomas and Roman couldn’t let himself be absorbed by the ideas too. Remus was bad. He was insane. 

But Roman couldn’t just abandon him…. 

“Ah, there you are, Roman.” Logan spoke as soon as Roman entered the commons, where Patton was watching TV and Logan was trying to solve a crossword. “I wanted to apologi-”   
“Yeah it’s fine.” Roman dismissed with a quick wave of his hand. He flopped down onto the couch, settling himself.   
“You seem cheerful!” Patton smiled, offering the bag of chips to Roman, who gratefully took a handful.   
“Yeah, I just came up with this epic idea for Thomas’s art project…” 

* * *

Remus wasn’t sure what to think.   
_‘Be happy, idiot. You saw Roman!’_  
But Roman had seemed off. Instead of laughing at Remus’s ideas, he frowned, the same way Patton used to. Well, it made sense, Roman was a light side after all, but he was his brother! Why had he seemed ashamed to let the others know that they spoke? What had changed?   
_‘Roman hates you. He thinks you’re bad, like Patton.’_  
Well… Deceit and Anxiety liked his ideas, right?

“You’re quiet, Remus.” Deceit prompted, pausing from his food for a moment to look at the creative side, who was stirring his food around the plate. That was unusual; he usually had the appetite of about 3 people combined.   
“Hmm.” he replied, looking back to his food. He’d cut the food into tiny pieces and mashed it together, and it now resembled someone’s innards, yet he still didn’t feel hungry.   
“You ok?” Anxiety, who seemed to have broken out from his bad state for the time being, questioned with a concerned expression. Remus shrugged.   
“Not hungry.”   
“That’s _surprising_.” Deceit cut in. “Anxiety, did Remus tell you what he ate instead of breakfast today?” The other two began talking again, and Remus, grateful for the distraction, rested his head on the table, wanting to think. This got their attention again.   
“You gonna survive?” Anxiety asked. Remus nodded.   
“I’m just tired. I’m gonna go to sleep.” he stood abruptly, sliding out of his seat and walking out without another word. He made his way upstairs, flopping onto his bed like a fish, and in the kitchen, Anxiety and Deceit exchanged a worried glance, but carried on eating. 

Remus laid on his bed, unable to sleep. His mind was loud, too loud as it raced with ideas, and he wanted to go back through the door and act out the ideas. That would get them out of his head for sure. Still, maybe he should wait for tomorrow and share them with Roman…  
 _‘Roman hates your ideas. He thinks you’re disgusting.’_  
On second thought, maybe he would keep them to himself…. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it has been a while since I last updated, things have been a little busy for everyone I think   
> I'm pretty sure I'll be updating a bit more often, considering it's now basically illegal to go anywhere other than the supermarket in the UK heh  
> Stay safe, everyone!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One last sort-of-happy chapter before everything turns bad. Sorry this took so long!
> 
> Triggers - General intrusive thoughts from Remus

The imagination was an infinite place, filled with endless possibilities to conjure and discover. So long as you could think clearly, there would be endless possibilities for you to occupy yourself with, and for the twins this was no exception. They could be swimming in the ocean, or dining with kings and queens, or flying on the wings of a dragon. Right now, however, the two were engaged in a heavy competition. The only sound that could be heard from the imagination (which currently resembled a tournament ring) was the clang of metal swords as they clashed together as though their lives depended on it. Which they did, as far as Roman was concerned. How could he live at all knowing that his brother could beat him in a fight? It was unimaginable. Remus, however, wasn’t so bothered. Although it had now been years since the two were separated, Remus was still just as grateful to be able to see his brother, even if he had changed a lot since before. As long as they kept quiet about this, everything would be fine. 

Still, that didn’t mean he enjoyed being beaten in a duel, of course. As Roman defeated him once again, knocking his sword from his hands, Remus let out a frustrated groan. Roman didn’t notice, holding his sword up in the air with pride.   
“And the brave knight, Roman, defeats his opponent once again!” he cheered, a proud grin on his face. He turned to his brother, who was looking at him, a little less cheerful.   
“Good fight.” Roman complimented. Remus said nothing.   
“I should get back. Patton will be wondering where I’ve got to, and Thomas does need help with that homework assignment.” Roman decided, gathering the swords and turning towards his door.   
“Wait, the writing one?” Remus looked up.   
“That’s the one.”   
“Ooh, why doesn’t he write about eating bugs? Or maybe he should write about people having se-” The grimace on Roman’s face shut him up.   
“Yeah, and that’s why I’m the one making the decision.” Roman interrupted. “Later!” he turned, heading back towards the door.   
“You know, you used to like my ideas.” Remus called out suddenly. Roman turned. “What changed?”   
“You used to have good ideas.” Roman replied without missing a beat. “But we’re not kids anymore.” That stung a little. Remus rolled his eyes, turning and going back to his room without another word. 

Entering the dark commons, Remus leapt onto the couch and startled Deceit, who was reading a book peacefully, or at least trying to. Deceit had changed a lot since Remus first became a dark side; for a start his outfit now included a black hat and a pair of yellow gloves whenever he was forced to interact with the light sides. Remus suspected it was to hide the scales growing on his hands, but had never gotten around to asking. In fact, he’d never made a comment about the scales; Deceit was clearly sensitive about the scales and it was bad enough that he chose to hide them. Mentioning them could do more harm than good, and Remus did care about Deceit. It was better to just bite his tongue when something like that came into his head. Which was becoming more and more frequent, but that didn’t matter. He didn’t mind the thoughts, right? 

One thing that hadn’t changed about Deceit was that he was always reading. He was a lot like Logan had been when Remus was with them, but rather than informative or detective stories, Deceit seemed to prefer Philosophical or horror stories (though that was most likely only to get on Anxiety’s nerves whenever he spoke about them). He was reading a book now, and closed it with a yelp as Remus hopped onto the couch, his usual grin on his face. Deceit gave a sigh.   
“Roman’s gone back to the light sides, I imagine?” he quipped, unhappy about being interrupted. He had known about the imagination for a while now, Remus couldn’t keep quiet about things to save his life. Deceit had overlooked the fact that Roman was a light side simply because he kept Remus quiet for a while, and clearly made him happier. Besides, Deceit had no proof that Roman was actually bad yet; whereas Morality had cast away sides without a care and Logan had simply watched, Roman hadn’t done anything too bad. Yet.   
“He’s helping Thomas with that stupid assignment.” Remus complained, hanging upside down from the couch. “That stupid teacher clearly doesn’t give a fuck about our free time! If I could get my hands on her…”   
“What would you do?” Deceit challenged. He realised his mistake as soon as he’d said it, but Remus was already talking.   
“I’m glad you asked…” 

As Roman screamed in exasperation, crumpling up his 7th piece of paper and throwing it across the room, Patton looked up.   
“Is everything alright there, Roman?” he asked curiously, turning his attention to the creative side, who sighed miserably.   
“I can’t get this da-” he paused. “Darn idea right, and the assignment is due tomorrow!” Hearing this, Logan gasped.   
“What?” he barked. “I told you to get that assignment done as soon as it was set! Why hasn’t Thomas done it already? We had plans for this afternoon!”   
“It wasn’t my fault! I’ve been very busy-”  
“Busy doing what?” Both Patton and Logan looked to him. He looked to the floor.   
“Uh… Creative stuff!” he offered. Thankfully, their attention was captured by another presence in the room. 

“‘Sup?” Anxiety called, leaning against the doorway. As every side turned to glare at him, he strolled further into the room like an intimidating cat entering its territory. “I smell conflict.”   
“It’s none of your business.” Roman argued, glaring at the dark side. Anxiety gave a devious smile in response, and Roman turned again to reassure the other two. “It’s fine guys, e can just do the assignment tonight-”  
“Ooh, a forgotten assignment?” Anxiety drawled, thriving on his new segment of information. “Oh no, that’s not good, is it?”   
“No, it isn’t.” Patton agreed hesitantly, eyeing the dark side. “But-”  
“We can’t get it done tonight, we had a lot of plans, don’t you remember?” Anxiety interrupted tauntingly. “Isn’t aunt Patty coming over? They’ll want us to spend time with everyone else. Well, that’s even better, isn’t it?” 

Contrary to his name, Anxiety was quite intimidating. Externally, Thomas had begun to notice his heightened anxiety and shuffled in his seat nervously. This gained Logan’s attention.   
“You’re upsetting Thomas.” he declared with a frown, looking over to Anxiety expectantly. With a dismissive wave of his hand, Anxiety guided Thomas to (or, scared him into) excusing himself to the bathroom. Thomas splashed cold water onto his face, taking deep breaths.   
“How surprising.” Patton remarked, now annoyed at Anxiety for upsetting Thomas. “Why don’t you go back to your room, Anxiety?”   
Anxiety grinned. “Fine, Fine.” he made his way back to the door, the smirk still on his face as he called “Good luck with that assignment!”   
“It’s not as bad as… he is making it seem.” Logan stated. “We have plenty of time this evening, we can easily fit the assignment into the schedule. It was just unexpected.”  
“Well… Maybe aunt Patty will be impressed that we have a lot of homework?” Patton offered.   
“Great!” Roman nodded. “See, nothing to worry about at all.” 

When Anxiety recounted the event to the other dark sides that evening, Deceit and Remus cackled with laughter. The simple mention of disruptions made Remus smirk, and, although he was less than happy with the light sides for shunning Anxiety, Deceit was also amused. He’d seen first, second and third hand what Patton and his so-called innocent morals could do, and could no longer offer the side any kindness or respect because of it. Still, he was fine with the sides he’d accumulated over the years. Those damned light sides would get their consequences soon enough, he was sure of it. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get the tissues ready. The angst has begun.  
> Triggers - minor flu, unsympathetic Patton and slightly unsympathetic Logan, unsympathetic Roman, angst (not sure if that's a trigger but I don't want to trigger anyone so I'm gonna put it here anyway)

The situation followed a ‘One step forward, two steps back’ pattern. For a while, everything seemed like it would be alright. Sure, Remus was a dark side now, and Deceit kept him hidden away, barely allowing him to visit Roman, and he couldn’t do things like annoy Logan, or help Patton bake cookies the way he always used to, but he could at least see his brother (when Roman wasn’t busy), even if their visits were often brief and limited. It was better than not seeing each other at all. He was trying to be optimistic. 

But that was only the step forward, and two back would follow. 

Remus had spent the whole day switching between talking to Anxiety and Deceit about various things, ranging from how long it would take a bird to bleed to death and what the best flavor of pop tart was. The others didn’t seem to mind these conversations, but how did he know they weren’t lying? They could easily be pretending to be interested just to make him happy, only to breathe a sigh of relief as soon as he left the room. 

_‘They don’t really like you. They just feel sorry for you because the light sides don’t want you anymore.’_

That wasn’t true,right? Anxiety and Deceit tried to include Remus in most things. Surely they wouldn’t do that if they hated him… But you could never tell what others were thinking. It was so easy to upset people accidentally, I mean, look what he’d done to Patton for example. 

Speaking of Patton, Remus was certain he saw the father-like side as he poked his head into the imagination that afternoon. He wasn’t planning on doing much, he was exhausted and was only looking in hoping to catch Roman, who hadn’t been around for a few days now. However he didn’t see Roman, instead catching a glimpse of a blue shirt and grey cardigan, and quickly retreated, deciding not to interrupt whatever he was doing there. Instead he got started on a sketch that had been in his head for a few days. Roman was probably doing the same; it wasn’t unlike him to get caught up in a project that took days to complete. 

_‘He’s gotten tired of you too.’_ sung a voice in the back of Remus’s head. He threw the book onto the floor with a frown. Maybe telling the others about Patton would help? 

* * *

Patton didn’t mean to intrude on Roman’s privacy, but boy was he glad he had. 

The second Roman came to the table that morning, Patton could sense something was up. Roman was completely silent as he poured himself some water, hands shaking as he tried to sip it. He was a few shades paler than usual, and seemed to be swaying slightly as though the room was spinning for him. He looked as though he hadn’t slept in days, weeks even, and the mere sight of the creative side kickstarted Patton’s fatherly instincts. 

“Alright, kiddo, why don’t you sit down for a moment.” Patton suggested in a gentle tone. Roman had no protests as he let Patton guide him to the table, sitting him down on a chair. The lack of objections was concerning to say the least; usually it took everything Patton had to get Roman to listen to his instructions and be still instead of up and pondering ideas. Patton rushed to the medicine cupboard at once, reaching for the thermometer. Roman whined a little as Patton took his temperature, but still left a concerning silence afterwards. Something was definitely up.   
“101.6?” Patton read. “Oh, Roman, you must feel awful!” he put a gentle hand on Roman’s shoulder.   
“‘m tired.” the creative side whined quietly.   
“I bet you are. Why don’t you go up to bed and I’ll bring you some soup?” Patton suggested. Roman nodded weakly, climbing his way back up the stairs. He settled himself in his bed, completely forgetting about the second door that led to the imagination and Remus’s room. He burrowed under his covers, half-convinced he’d never get up again. 

A soft knock on the door broke Roman from his thoughts, and he watched as it opened, leading to Patton and Logan, who stood in the doorway observing his condition. Patton held a tray with soup and water, and Logan held some pills.   
“I don’t want the pills.” Roman moaned, shutting his eyes as though that would magically make them disappear.   
“These will help you feel better.” Logan promised, doing his best to comfort Roman. Reluctantly, Roman sat up, swallowing the pills with a disgusted face.   
“That’s the spirit!” Patton cheered. “Now, do you think you can try some soup? I made your favourite.” Patton held out the tray, and as Roman smelt the soup he made his decision and sat up, picking up the spoon and tasting it. Of course it was good, all of Patton’s food was amazing, but something about the soup tasted extra special. It was enough to make Roman finish the whole bowl, anyway. He sat back afterwards, yawning.   
“Get some rest, kiddo.” Patton instructed. This was the only prompt Roman needed, and he soon fell asleep. With a fond smile, Patton picked up the bowl, turning around to face Logan. 

Logan was staring, oddly perplexed, at the wall. 

“What?” Patton questioned, setting the tray back down on the desk. Logan pointed to the wall, which was taken up by… a door? It was camouflaged well; hidden amongst years worth of posters, stickers and sparkly tokens.   
“Where did that come from?” he wondered. Without a response, Logan stepped forward, turning the handle and carefully entering. 

Once inside, it took a miniscule amount of time to discover what the place was. Logan thought hard, and was surprised to find dozens of floating shapes hovering around him like fireflies.   
“What… But that shouldn't…” Logan was struggling to comprehend the lack of logic in the situation.   
“It’s like anything you imagine comes to life…” Patton mused, looking around. “Why hasn’t Roman ever told us about this place?”  
“There’s another door.” Logan pointed out. Patton looked over, and he too saw the door. It was covered with a layer of grey dust, and stained with questionable things that Patton didn’t want to think about. The door undoubtedly belonged to…  
“Remus.” Logan spoke, quieter than usual. Patton looked up just in time to see the door close. “It must lead to his room.” 

Patton resisted the urge to go inside; he didn’t want to confront the forbidden side, and plus he wasn’t certain the door was safe to touch anyway. Who knew what could be on that? _Eugh._   
“We should go back.” Patton suggested.   
“Good idea.”

* * *

“Hey.” Roman stood in the doorway, resting against the frame. Patton looked up from his book, stopping to observe the creative side.   
“Hey kiddo, how are you feeling? You look a lot better.” he commented.   
“I’m better. Thanks for the help.” he sat down on the couch, settling himself amongst the cushions.   
“Hey Roman, can I talk to you about something important?” Patton started. Roman looked up, concern flooding onto his face.   
“Sure, what’s happening?”   
“We noticed the extra door in your room.” Roman looked at the floor. He knew exactly what was coming.   
“To the imagination?”  
“That’s the one.” Patton spoke cheerfully, as if he wasn’t about to do what he’d done years ago, all over again. “We happened to notice the second door, and… Your friend.”  
“Patton, no-” Logan started, but Patton shot him a look and he stayed quiet reluctantly.  
“He’s not my friend, he’s my brother.” a part of Roman felt defensive, though the rest was just begging him to agree with Patton.   
“Roman, we’ve been over this before. I know you’re close to him, but you know exactly what he tries to do, now more than ever. He’s a dark side.”  
“Only because you threw him out.” Roman raised his voice slightly. Patton only frowned more.   
“Remus is bad. He tries to hurt Thomas. You’ve heard his ideas!”   
“Bullshit.” Everyone in the room stopped suddenly. Three ‘unwelcome’ sides were now standing in the doorway. Deceit was in front, ever-confident in his hat and gloves. Behind him, Anxiety was glaring, an arm around Remus, who was looking around nervously, less than thrilled to be back here.   
“Well, hello to you too, Deceit.” Patton’s tone lacked his usual bounce as he turned to the snake-like side, who wasn’t very cheerful.   
“I couldn’t help but notice some pretty hefty lies were being told.” Deceit started, walking further into the room. “You know, the things you were saying about Remus.” Patton turned to see the forbidden side, who was looking at the floor in an uncharacteristically nervous way. Patton had never seen him this… quiet. 

He had to do this though. For Thomas. 

“I don’t believe they’re lies.” Patton spoke determinedly, staring Deceit straight in the eye. Deceit glared back, furious.   
“You don’t believe it, do you, Roman?” He addressed the creative side a little gentler. Roman stayed silent, overwhelmed. He hadn’t even seen this ‘Deceit’ around before, and to have the side questioning him on things he wasn’t sure about himself was… a little confusing.   
“Unbelievable.” Deceit whispered, shaking his head as his fury grew.   
“Deceit-”   
“No.” Deceit waved a hand, silencing Patton. “You don’t understand it, do you?”   
“I’m just trying to do what’s best for Thomas-” Patton defended.   
“Oh of course, because it’s all about Thomas to you isn’t it? Always the best for Thomas. It never matters who you throw out, or who you upset, or who you manipulate. Tell me, Morality, what is Thomas going to gain from you splitting these two up? Because as far as I can see, this is just you being completely heartless over some stupid little grudge you have from _8 years ago_.”   
“Remus is corrupting Roman.” Patton deliberately looked away from the sides still in the doorway upon saying that. “You may not see what happens when they’re together, but I have. I cannot have Roman picking up those… bad tendencies.” He knew the word ‘bad’ was the wrong choice of words as soon as he said it, but it was too late.   
“Bad tendencies?” Deceit snarled. “You do remember that Remus is just as much of a part of Thomas as you or I?”   
“Well… Maybe there are some parts of Thomas that shouldn’t be there!” Patton finally shouted, pushed to his limit. Everyone in the room looked to Patton, who was already seeming to regret his words. It was too late now.   
“When are you going to stop treating us as if we’re criminals?” Deceit questioned, his voice low.   
“I… I think it’s best if you three leave.” Patton said instead, looking at the ground as though it was his only saviour. His voice held an underlying threat that seemed out of character even for him.   
“Roman?” Remus spoke up from the doorway. “Do you think I’m… bad?”   
Roman didn’t respond. He stayed silent for what felt like hours. Then, at long last, he turned, walking out of the room without another word. 

Remus sank out, Anxiety following swiftly afterwards. Deceit turned to Patton, his expression unreadable.   
“This isn’t over, you know. I promise you, we’ll get through to Thomas, and then you’ll see you were wrong. You’ll be sorry you doubted us.” he threatened. “Maybe you should consider that before you throw out another side for not meeting your expectations.” With those words said, he turned and left, leaving a shocked Patton to stand in the middle of the room, taking in his words. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to say "Don't worry, that's the last of the angst," But... It isn't... heh  
> Hope you enjoyed! I'm trying to get chapters out quicker, considering I don't have much else to do now  
> Stay safe, everyone!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Triggers - a few mentions of death at the start

_One, two, three…_ Yep, that was it, he had it now. Perfect! The lines were working together with his guidance, slowly developing themselves into a beautiful picture… well, he thought it was beautiful anyways. Who cared what anyone else thought of it? He was grinning like the maniac that he was as he sketched, unusually still with all of his focus on one thing.   
“Remus, do I even want to know what’s making you smile so much?” Deceit asked from in front. He had been reading, yet the silence in the room was unnerving, especially since the three of them were all sitting in the same room.   
“Probably not.” Remus responded without looking up from his work in progress. “It may have something to do with murder, and a lot of blood, and-”   
“Oh, so nothing unusual then.” Deceit chuckled. “Is it anyone we know?”   
“Possibly....” Remus drew out the word, again not looking up. “It may involve someone who we hate…” Again Deceit laughed, more at Remus’s antics than the idea itself. From his spot on top of the couch, Anxiety gave a brief smile. Then he turned, leaving the room behind. 

* * *

Virgil remembered being with the light sides. 

At the beginning, or as far back as he could remember, there had been 4 sides (well, he was certain he’d seen another figure slip out of his line of sight when he turned, but at the time he’d brushed it off as an illusion of some sort.) There had been Logic, Morality, Creativity, and himself. He wasn’t sure how the group had figured out their functions, but he had been met with an instant sense of fear and a strong urge to protect himself and the others, which kind of gave his function away then and there. The group, still figuring out who they were at the time, had instantly known everything about Thomas, ranging from his favourite person to his least favourite food. They knew that they had a job to help and assist Thomas in every way possible, and they were going to do their job well. Logic ensured that Thomas learnt new things about the world around him as he grew. Creativity gave him an endless stream of ideas to daydream about and share with others. Morality made sure that Thomas did what he felt was right and learnt how to avoid upsetting people and how to make them feel better. And Axiety’s job was to keep Thomas safe and aware of his surroundings. He focussed on stopping Thomas from making dangerous decisions and getting out of bad situations. 

Only, the others didn’t seem to agree with Anxiety. In fact, most of his ideas and contributions were met with a negative response from the other three. Creativity hated how Anxiety stopped Thomas from doing some of his ideas. Logic was frustrated with how wheneer Thomas learnt something new, Anxiety always had a contribution that stopped Thomas from wanting to learn more. And Morality was fed up with how Anxiety pulled Thomas away from speaking to others, making him shy when he met new people and stopping him from some kind actions that had already been planned out. This didn’t go unnoticed by Anxiety; he noticed the way Morality frowned whenever Anxiety came out of his room, and the sighs he gave when Anxiety suggested something to Thomas or told him something important. Morality would argue with every one of these suggestions, and lecture Anxiety for “upsetting Thomas”. Anxiety knew he wasn’t hurting Thomas. He was trying to stop him from getting hurt! It was better to make him a slight bit nervous than to leave him to his own devices and have him injured or worse within hours (Thomas was a disaster of a kid anyways, in his opinion). But of course, Morality got what he wanted, because he was the kind side and everyone loved him. Anxiety remembered it; Morality had been shouting a lot about how Anxiety was hurting Thomas, and he’d sent him through that dark, ice-cold door at the end of the corridor. Pleading made no difference; Anxiety was bad, and that was all there was to it. 

Anxiety soon got used to being a dark side. In all honesty, it was hardly different. He could help Thomas just the same from the shadows, and as a bonus, Morality was too afraid to come and lecture him where he was now. He’d befriended the other sides, but they preferred to isolate themselves in their rooms, which of course he was fine with. Deceit, who was in charge of Thomas’s self preservation, agreed straight away that the light sides were blind to the reality of the world, and the two quickly became friends. Anxiety didn’t mind it there, although he still wasn't too happy about being cast away. 

So when Remus showed up, having been split from his brother and thrown out the same way, Anxiety couldn’t help but feel sympathetic. The side was still just a kid, and had no idea what to think. He didn’t even know who the dark sides were; he’d kept hardly any of the memories he’d had as Creativity, and didn’t remember when Anxiety had been there himself. He was taken in by Deceit straight away, although Anxiety suspected it was mostly due to their shared hatred for Morality ( or Patton - the light sides all had names now too). Remus wasn’t awful, but Anxiety could see hy Patton had gotten rid of him. He was literally the opposite of a wholesome, family-friendly side like Patton. Anxiety didn’t mind him, even if his suggestions to Thomas were so dangerous they sent him into a panic sometimes. 

But then things changed. 

By now, Thomas had completely finished school (thank god!) and had a place of his own. The sides were all focussed on his growing internet popularity. Of course, Anxiety made sure to warn Thomas of internet safety and how quickly his videos could spread, but once again, Patton won the battle. Thomas became famous, and if that wasn’t terrifying to Anxiety then he didn't know what was. Luckily, most of the videos were made from home, and Anxiety didn’t have to do much unless Thomas went out somewhere and was recognised. Again, terrifying. Still, it was years before Thomas made a ‘Sanders sides’ video, even though he knew about the sides now. When he did, it involved the core three: Logan, Roman and Patton. It was certainly interesting to watch, Patton was suddenly about 10 times nicer in front of their host, and Roman was extremely self-centered and… extra. Still, the videos were tempting…. 

Anxiety popped up in one of the videos. It was perfect timing on his part; Thomas was in the middle of describing how calm he felt. It was so easy to get through to Thomas when directly speaking to him, even if it was a little weird. Even being beaten by Thomas within a few minutes, the video was fun, and the light sides had changed a lot since he’d last seen them properly. Logan listened to each of Axiety’s suggestions and warnings, although he ruled out a lot of them with his logical thinking. Roman, although he still didn’t get on with him, wasn’t too unbearable. And Patton? 

Patton had changed so much since that day. Even when the sides weren’t filming, or even around Thomas, Patton was so kind and loving towards Anxiety. It was almost as though he was trying to make up for his past mistakes. And although he tried to resist the love and compassion given to him, Anxiety soon found himself giving in. He knew as good as anyone that people could change, and Patton had certainly done so. 

Still, the light sides kept asking about his name. Anxiety played it off as not trusting the sides enough, because did he really want to tell them that he didn’t have a name? But it came to him after weeks of spending time with the light sides. As he tried to sleep, the name ‘Virgil’ floated through his thoughts. It was an odd name, but it worked for him. It suited him, even. 

Virgil spent more and more time with the light sides. Even Roman, who made it clear he couldn’t stand the anxious side from the start, was manageable. Of course he dreaded seeing the other dark sides’ reactions to this. Remus asked a lot of questions about the sides, particularly his brother, and Deceit, although less persistent, definitely seemed to disapprove. When Virgil revealed his name to the other two, Deceit flinched slightly, and that hurt, but Remus had quickly interrupted with a joke about how Virgil sounded like ‘Virgin’, and by the time he looked back to Deceit, the side wore a small smile, and simply complimented Virgil’s name before turning and retreating to his room. Virgil knew Deceit was hiding his true feelings about it, but he didn’t call the side out on it because he just wanted Deceit to let him do what he wanted to without protest. 

He knew he belonged with the light sides when he ducked out after an extremely bad night and the light sides came after him straight away, whereas the dark sides brushed it off as a bad mood that would soon be resolved. So Virgil let himself be accepted into the light sides and left early in the morning. Deceit didn’t try to stop him; he let him go, and though Virgil knew Deceit didn’t want him to leave, it didn’t stop him. He was happy with the light sides now. Thomas listened to him and his suggestions, even stopping the other sides if they weren’t nice to Virgil. The other sides showed how they cared for him, in their own ways, and it was more than he could ask for. It was like it had been before he left, years and years ago. They were a family. 

Virgil didn’t miss being a dark side all too much. It felt strange, sure, but he could manage this. He deserved it. 

For Deceit and Remus, however, things weren’t so good. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit has dee-pression, and Remus just wants to help without his thoughts getting in the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings - mentions of Depression / Depression-like behaviour, food mentions, Detailed intrusive thoughts, self-harm
> 
> None of the dark sides are okay and I want to hug them :(

Dee hadn’t left his room since last week. 

He’d stayed locked away since that morning, the same morning Remus heard arguing in the hallway and Virgil’s door vanished. He was starting to get a little worried; how many days had it been now? 5, maybe 6? Sides couldn’t die, but Dee had been deprived of food for quite a while and he had to be suffering by now. 

Still, he could understand why Dee was doing it. Upon noticing Virgil’s door - or the absence of it - Remus had felt this strange, empty feeling that made him want to curl up in his room in complete silence for a few hours, and he wasn’t even as close to Virgil as Dee had been. The worst thing was that he’d heard the others that morning, talking in the hall, but had ignored it in favour of sleeping. He could have gone out, tried to stop Virgil from leaving…. 

He could have at least said goodbye. 

Still, there was nothing to be done now. Virgil was gone; he had a better life and he wasn’t coming back. With a frustrated groan, Remus tore the page from his notebook, screwing it up into a tight little ball and tossing it across the room towards the trash can sitting in the corner. It missed, though that didn’t make much difference anyways. The trash had been overflowing for months. He never bothered to keep the room tidy; that was too much energy, and he preferred chaos anyways. It was much easier to gain inspiration when there were piles of stuff everywhere to think about. Speaking of ideas, Remus had been working on the same one for hours now and still couldn’t get right. It followed something along the lines of one of Thomas’s friends getting murdered (the cause of the murder kept changing as Remus came up with more ideas). Thinking about the murder made Remus cackle with laughter, but something about it still didn’t seem right. The friend in question was one of Remus’s favourites, partly due to the amount of dirty jokes they made. Maybe that was the problem then; pain and suffering were always funny to Remus, unless they involved someone he truly cared about. 

_‘And yet Dee is suffering in his room. What are you doing about that?’_

Letting out a sigh, Remus slammed the book shut, the loud noise pulling him away from his thoughts. He’d return to the idea later on, for now maybe he should check on Dee. He could bring him some food…? Yeah, that would be good, he’d like that. So, Remus stood, making his way out of his room and into the kitchen. Forgotten dishes were piling in the sink; Virgil and Deceit had always taken it in turns to clean them - Remus usually skipped this because picking up a dirty dish made him want to throw it, and apparently that wasn’t good - but with Virgil gone and Dee out of action, they had been forgotten. Remus poured some water over them, figuring that would help for now, and grabbed the easiest food he could think of to make: ramen. 

‘Don’t add anything.’ he reminded himself. ‘You know Dee doesn’t like the same stuff that you do.’ 

Determined to get it right, Remus followed the instructions on the back of the packet like a sacred code. It wasn’t too difficult as long as he kept himself in a balance between being distracted and focussed - he couldn’t let the food burn, but focusing gave him strange ideas. Still, it was tempting to add extra things to the food, not necessarily inedible things, and when a particularly bad thought kept coming up over and over, he turned away from the stove, shutting his eyes and counting to twenty. 

_‘This is useless. You’re never going to be able to make something that Dee will like. You should just give up now.’_  
That wasn’t true. He hadn’t added anything extra, he’d made sure to follow the instructions, and the food wasn’t burnt. It would be fine.   
_‘The stove is really hot…. You should put your hand on it.’_  
Hesitantly, Remus turned back to the stove, taking the food off before it could burn.   
_‘Do it. You know you’ll be curious until you do.’_  
He reached his hand out towards it, mentally debating. It was true, he’d be thinking about it over and over again, wondering what it was like… May as well find out now. He placed his hand down, startled when his reflexes kicked in and he ripped his hand away again. Instantly a sharp, stinging sensation covered his hand, somewhat grounding as it spread across his skin. That was a mistake; the curiosity was beginning to wear off, leaving behind only an awful ache. 

_‘No shit, idiot, you burnt it. What did you think would happen? You’re so dumb.’_

He bought the hand up to his cheek. It was unusually warm, and quickly beginning to turn red. Still, there was nothing he could do now. He shook his head, getting back to sorting the ramen for Dee. It looked and smelt like normal food, and Remus couldn’t remember putting anything extra into it, so it was probably safe to give to him. He filled a tall glass with water and grabbed both of the items - the glass felt like heaven against his burnt hand - before heading to Dee’s room. He knocked on the side’s door.   
“Leave me alone.” Deceit responded almost instantly.   
“I made you some food.” Remus offered. “And I didn’t add anything strange to it.” When he didn’t get a reply, Remus sat beside the door, patiently waiting. Eventually there was a click and the door opened. Deceit stared at him for a few moments before motioning for him to come in, sitting on the edge of the bed. Remus set the food and water on the table somewhat awkwardly: he’d only been in Dee’s room once or twice, but he knew it well enough to know that right now it was significantly darker and messier than usual. Dee wasn’t in a good place, that was for certain, and saying anything could make him snap. Remus bit his tongue, ignoring all of the thoughts he wanted to share.   
“I got you some water.” he decided on, picking up the glass and offering it to Deceit. He took it hesitantly.   
“Where did it come from?” he questioned.   
“Kitchen sink.” Remus responded. _‘See, he doesn’t trust you.’_  
Dee took a careful sip, but relaxed when he realised it was just water and eagerly drank the rest of the glass. He set it back down on the table and Remus smirked a little, still nervous.   
“You want another?” he offered. Dee shook his head, staring at the wall with an uncharacteristically empty expression that made Remus shiver.   
“You should eat something.” he prompted. “The ramen is safe, I promise.” When Dee didn’t respond, Remus set the bowl in front of him. Thankfully this seemed to wake him from his thoughts, and he took a bite from the food.   
“You didn’t tell me you could cook normal food.” he commented. Remus smiled slightly, grateful that it was okay.   
“You like it?”  
“Well, I don’t actually like Ramen.” Dee responded.   
Remus mentally cursed. _‘You stupid idiot, you can’t even get one meal right, can you?’_  
“But this is still good.” Dee interrupted, noticing the way Remus’s face fell.   
“You’re lying.” Remus accused.   
“Of course I’m not.” Dee spoke. “You just don’t give yourself enough credit.”   
“Well, I can try and make something else you do like?” Remus offered nervously. He wasn’t sure he trusted himself in the kitchen again, but Dee was more important than burning another hand or… worse.   
“I’m fine with this.” Dee replied, quickly finishing the ramen. It wasn’t actually that bad, and the fact that it was just normal ramen without anything strange added to it meat that Remus had obviously made an effort. 

As soon as Dee as finished with the food, Remus reached out his hand to grab the dish. Dee stopped him, putting a hand over Remus’s arm as he noticed the redness on his hand.   
“What happened?” he asked, studying Remus’s hand carefully. Remus paused for half a second before grinning widely.   
“I was experimenting with makeup. It looks real, doesn’t it?” he laughed a little, ignoring the burning feeling in his hand as Dee studied it.   
“Too real.” Dee responded, a slight frown covering his face. Remus shrugged, turning to leave.   
“Remus, wait.” Dee called. He turned around.   
“Thank you.” Remus smiled, turning and leaving without another word. Deceit laid back on the bed, deep in thought. His head felt clear again now, and he felt ready to leave his room again. 

In the kitchen, Remus dropped the dish into the sink, still smiling a little. At least Dee had eaten now, he would hopefully start to feel a bit better. It was much too quiet without him moving around, doing dishes in the kitchen or watching TV. Still, for now Remus needed quiet. His head hurt from keeping all of his thoughts inside instead of voicing them, and his hand was _burning_. He whispered some of his thoughts to himself as he walked back to his room, deciding he’d write them down. Deceit would be fine now, and he could focus on getting his idea finished without any distractions. Things would be okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Things would be okay."  
> …  
> Are you sure about that-


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS - Detailed descriptions of self harm and injury (I have marked the paragraphs with *** so please skip it if you need to, I really do not want to trigger anyone)

The food seemed to do the trick, because Deceit left his room later that day. When he checked in on Remus, the creative side was busy scribbling into a notebook and didn’t seem to want to be disturbed, so Dee left him alone and decided to try and sort out the kitchen. He and Virgil had been in charge of this kind of thing, but with Virgil gone, he guessed it as his job now. There probably wasn’t much point trying to teach Remus how to do it, unless he wanted a fire to deal with. 

Still, the cleaning didn’t take long, and Deceit was soon sitting at the table and reading (the kitchen was warmer than his own room, and he’d spent enough time in there recently). He heard nothing from Remus until later that night, when the side left his room to get some water.   
“You’re quiet.” Deceit observed.   
“Just writing down ideas.” Remus sipped his water, looking at the floor. Dee frowned; Remus never drank plain water, often opting for something a little less ordinary, like ketchup or dish soap.   
“Is something wrong?” he asked.   
“I’m tired.” Remus responded after a moment. It wasn’t a lie, he _was_ exhausted after writing for so long.   
“Go to sleep then.” Dee suggested.   
“Will do as soon as I get this idea finished.” Before Dee could protest, Remus threw the now empty glass at the sink and turned, quickly leaving. He ran back to his room, shutting the door behind him quickly and continuing with his ideas. 

* * *

Virgil didn’t return. They didn’t expect him to really. The two slowly found a new routine without him, and although it felt strange, they adjusted. Deceit openly hated Virgil for leaving; walking away from his family just because he found a better replacement (Or that was how he saw it anyway). Remus agreed, but at the same time he could see why Virgil had left. Virgil had spoken to Thomas since then about not wanting to be the bad side anymore, and, well, that was something that Remus was becoming more and more familiar with. Especially when he thought of Roman…

_Don’t think about that._

How could he tell himself not to think about something when he himself was the representation of intrusive thoughts? Everything Thomas didn’t want to think of, everything he thought was bad, was thrown over to Remus, even if Thomas had no idea about him yet. Deceit and Remus were still unknown to Thomas, and though he’d asked Deceit about it a few times now, he still wasn’t allowed to visit Thomas. He was stuck with the thoughts that everyone else didn’t want. 

But that didn’t mean that he wanted them either. Remus didn’t _want_ to be a bad side. He was growing tired of the way the others grimaced when he spoke, lecturing him for voicing the ideas they were sending to him in the first place. He hated the thoughts that kept him up at night, thoughts that were much worse than the ones he would say out loud, thoughts that made him want to tear out his brain and stab it with a dagger until they quietened, at least for a few hours…

There was nothing he could do. He’d just have to accept it; he was the bad half of Creativity, and everyone preferred his brother. Even Virgil, who he had trusted, had left in favour of the light sides. 

_You drove him away, and look how upset it made Dee. You did that._

Things had changed since Virgil left. Remus stuck to his room, like the other dark sides, and he was pretty sure Deceit had started to do the same. He’d experiment his ideas in the safety of the imagination, knowing that a simple snap of his fingers could fix whatever went wrong. He still shared the space with Roman, and sometimes he was there too, but he still refused to speak to him or brushed him off most of the time. He’d gotten used to it; they weren’t kids anymore and Roman didn’t want to talk to someone like him. Remus was bad, his thoughts and ideas were getting worse with every passing day, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He was seen as a villain in everyone else’s eyes, why not play the part? 

It was a shock when Deceit showed up at his door one afternoon, hidden under the disguise of Patton. Remus almost flinched upon seeing him; he’d only seen Patton once or twice when he’d gone to annoy the light sides, but he still wanted to avoid the side at all costs. Still, it wasn’t until the side turned his head, revealing the familiar scales, that Remus realised.   
“Dee?” he questioned hesitantly. Deceit smirked.   
“Do you think they’ll notice? Minus the scales, of course.”   
“You look like Patton, but… What’s happening?” Remus was confused. Why would he want to…?   
“Long story short, Thomas has been considering lying to a friend over something; it’s the perfect opportunity!” Deceit responded.   
“You’re appearing in a video?” Remus asked slowly.   
“Of course, although if all goes to plan no one will find out.”   
“That’s… good…” Remus tried, hiding his frown. It was an obvious lie.   
“What’s the matter?” Deceit frowned too. Remus looked down at the floor.   
“Well…” he spoke quietly. “Are you going to leave… like Virgil did?”   
“Of course not.” Deceit’s face softened. “You wouldn’t catch me spending a second longer than I need to around those idiots. But Thomas needs to know all options, and none of them are going to give him my side of the story.” Remus didn’t trust him; he was Deceit, he could lie effortlessly and trick anyone into believing his words, even those who he held as friends. Did Deceit see Remus as a friend?   
“OK.” Remus responded, a small smile on his face. There was nothing he could do if Deceit was leaving, besides he was only going to do one video. It wouldn't hurt. 

But as soon as Dee was gone, Remus felt like calling him back. The side could lie, easily and realistically, and Remus couldn’t stand another side leaving. He didn’t want to lose another friend…

_Don’t be stupid. Do you really think he wants to know someone like you? He hates you._  
That couldn’t be true.   
_He’s probably only talking to you because he feels sorry for you. Once he sees your brother and how he’s the good one, he’ll be gone._  
He wouldn’t… He cared about him…  
 _Virgil cared too, and he left. Dee will leave too. He’ll join the light sides, and then you’ll be all alone._  
Maybe he could join them too?   
_Don’t be so stupid. They hate you, you know that. Everyone does._

***

With no real thought to his actions, Remus dug his fingernails into his arms, caught up in arguing with himself. He shut his eyes tightly, willing for the thoughts to stop, but of course they didn’t, they only got louder and louder, repeated like an awful chorus of hatred inside his head. He was bad, evil, unwanted, and Deceit was going to leave like Virgil did, because he hated him and wanted him dead. Sides couldn’t die…

Distracted from his thoughts, Remus opened his eyes, scanning over his arms, which now had tiny, crescent-shaped marks along them, some of them lined with blood. Guilt simmered in his stomach - the others hated when he did this - but it was almost immediately replaced by an urge to continue. His thoughts returned with twice the force, deafeningly loud. The others wouldn’t care, they hated him, he was the bad twin after all… 

Standing on shaky legs, Remus turned and slammed his door shut with such force he thought it would shatter. He closed his eyes, carefully summoning a sharp, glistening knife. When he opened his eyes, it was there waiting for him. He grabbed it, slipping his fingers around the handle. It felt easy in his grip, at least he could summon things right, and he took a deep breath, stopping for a moment to listen to his thoughts. They offered no comfort, only encouraged him, so he gave in, sliding it across his arm and watching as the carved line appeared in red. One was never enough, and he repeated the action over and over. His action. He was doing this; he was in control of the thoughts now, and that was fine. Like before, pain was always fun when it happened to someone he didn’t care about. This was what the others wanted anyway. 

His head spun. _What am I doing?_

***

Still, he was completely still for however long it was, and only moved to pull down his sleeves again when he heard footsteps in the hall. They started at one end, near that huge door that he still hated, and trailed miserably along the corridor, coming to a stop at Deceit’s room. He was back…?

With selfish hope, Remus stood, pausing for a second as his head spun a little, and then made his way along the corridor to Deceit’s room. The door was already open, and Deceit, no longer disguised as Patton, stood in the middle of the room. Remus stood hesitantly in the doorway, watching as the snake side threw his hat across the room and sat on the bed with a sigh. Remus cleared his throat, causing Deceit to glance over.   
“How’d it go?” when the mere words made Deceit glare, Remus knew the answer. He walked closer, sitting down beside Dee. He may not be able to offer a solution, but he could listen, and surely that would help a little. 

So rather than mention his own issues, Remus suppressed his inner conflict in favour of helping Deceit to navigate his. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As someone who has experience with self harm, I can tell you that it DOES get better. If you or anyone you know is struggling with any issues, there are many organisations and people that you can reach out to for help and advice. I am willing to listen to any problems that anyone has, no matter how big or small they may be because no one deserves to deal with things alone. Feel free to leave a simple comment, or send me a message on my tumblr (straight-as-ramen) if you want to. I promise, there is a way out, and you don't need to be alone in dealing with anything.


End file.
